With the news that the actually-not-even-a-little-bit-venerable Skymall, scourge/delight of the seat pocket of every flight you have taken for the last 15 years, has filed bankruptcy, we now know we are coming to the end of an era. Yes, now that you can browse for useless crap on your smartphones during flight, why would you look at Skymall’s useless crap? Skymall says their bankruptcy filing is to allow them to wind down their affairs in an orderly fashion. They promise they will remain in a scaled-back fashion, but we all know that is a dirty lie, so today we are pouring one out for Skymall with our favorite WTF, Skymall? products, all of which remain available on the site today, so hurry.
This product is so bad it might legitimately be the thing that drove Skymall into bankruptcy. It’s a t-shirt that yes, actually smells like pizza. FROM SIX FEET AWAY. Imagine how excited your friends will be to find that you bring with you a powerful scent of pizza wherever you might go. Terrific for hot days in the summer!
Because nothing says “housewarming gift” like a tacky bottle of wine shoved into an equally tacky shoe. Bonus: these also come emblazoned in the colors and logo of your favorite professional sportsball teams.
Need to sleep in public? Do you want to look like you have a debilitating neck injury or are crazy or both? Then the Nap Anywhere Pillow is for you!
You know what’s great? Having some Planet of the Apes-looking motherfucker stare at you while you chill in your garden. It’s thoughtfully carved (?) in resin so that it will last for all time. Also, it allows you to make a super great life choice: buying sculpture via a magazine rather than actually looking at it in person.
Does your dog hate the rain? Would you like to make your dog hate the rain AND feel super humiliated by making him or her wear a weird accordion hood raincoat thingy? OF COURSE YOU DO. Seriously, other dogs will beat your dog up for wearing this.
Don’t let your feline friend miss out on the opportunity for humiliation. Make them use a litter box that is actually some sort of terrifying mechanical robot. That cat does not look happy at all. In fact, that cat is planning on murdering you in your sleep.
It’s basically a penis pump for your lips. Enough said.