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Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I Avoid Romance With Someone Who Is Manipulating Me?

Haddayr Copley-Woods Endings 1 Comment

Dear Bitter Butch, There’s this woman who has a crush on all the people who’ve helped her, including me. I want to be supportive of her gaining independence and self-confidence (we’re all in our early 20’s), but I don’t want to be romantically entangled with someone who so easily clings to her “saviors.” I don’t even want to be a …

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Dear Bitter Butch: Who Helps the Helper?

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Dear Bitter Butch, My partner is by far the dominant personality in our relationship and struggles with crushing waves of negativity towards herself, but that’s not why I’m writing. I’ve read advice columns since I was a kid, I know all about how people don’t change in the fundamentals, and I long ago made my decision that even though I …

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Dear Bitter Butch: Can I Be Caustic When Responding To Intrusive Questions About My Love Life?

Haddayr Copley-Woods Endings 2 Comments

Dear Bitter Butch, I am a single woman in my fifties. I’ve been married twice, and have dated a fair amount, but at this time I’m not seeking out romantic relationships. What drives me crazy is when people — and I’m not talking about friends here — just acquaintances, ask me about my dating life. (“Are you seeing anyone? Are …

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Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I Get My Mother-In-Law To Stop Cleaning?

Haddayr Copley-Woods Endings 1 Comment

Dear Bitter Butch, My incredibly loving mother-in-law is the cleanest person I know. Her house, car, clothes, and body are all spotless. When we had children she said: “Please don’t let them be dirty.” When I send the kids to visit, she asks me to “send good clothes.” Although my house is relatively organized by parents-of-young-children-standards and I have a …

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Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I Politely Exit A Conversation?

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Dear Bitter Butch: Thank you for your advice about smalltalk.  I have a follow-up  question. How do you politely disengage from small talk? I don’t mind chatting with a random stranger for a minute or two, but I don’t want to get stuck awkwardly trying to keep up a conversation with them for half an hour. And I have. It’s …

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Dear Bitter Butch: Should I Out Myself As Straight?

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Dear Bitter Butch, I tend to use gender-neutral language to avoid being heteronormative, most people assume this is code for “I’m GAY everybody!” They will then use incorrect pronouns when referring to my partner. While I am totally fine with their assumptions I wonder if I should correct them as a) it feels dishonest to continue as if their assumption …

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Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I Talk To My Children About Heteronormativity?

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Psst, Bitter Butch, help! How do I explain to my kids that there’s a whole lot of heteronormativity and monogamous expectation in the world? They’ve been raised a-religiously, around a lot of queer, alternative relationship structures and around people who are gender variant, and thus far haven’t absorbed the idea that there’s a whole world of “relationships are one born-man …

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Dear Bitter Butch: My Partner Loves Her Sick Cat More Than Her Family

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Dear Bitter Butch, I deeply love and am committed to my partner. I love her, love being with her, and love our relationship. I want to be a great partner in a healthy, loving way. We’ve been through a few tough situations- a kid in the hospital, work stuff, etc and she and I usually work through it really well. …

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