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Dear Bitter Butch: Who Helps the Helper?

Haddayr Copley-Woods Endings Leave a Comment

Dear Bitter Butch, My partner is by far the dominant personality in our relationship and struggles with crushing waves of negativity towards herself, but that’s not why I’m writing. I’ve read advice columns since I was a kid, I know all about how people don’t change in the fundamentals, and I long ago made my decision that even though I …

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Dear Bitter Butch: Can I Be Caustic When Responding To Intrusive Questions About My Love Life?

Haddayr Copley-Woods Endings 2 Comments

Dear Bitter Butch, I am a single woman in my fifties. I’ve been married twice, and have dated a fair amount, but at this time I’m not seeking out romantic relationships. What drives me crazy is when people — and I’m not talking about friends here — just acquaintances, ask me about my dating life. (“Are you seeing anyone? Are …

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Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I Get My Mother-In-Law To Stop Cleaning?

Haddayr Copley-Woods Endings 1 Comment

Dear Bitter Butch, My incredibly loving mother-in-law is the cleanest person I know. Her house, car, clothes, and body are all spotless. When we had children she said: “Please don’t let them be dirty.” When I send the kids to visit, she asks me to “send good clothes.” Although my house is relatively organized by parents-of-young-children-standards and I have a …

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Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I Politely Exit A Conversation?

Haddayr Copley-Woods Endings Leave a Comment

Dear Bitter Butch: Thank you for your advice about smalltalk.  I have a follow-up  question. How do you politely disengage from small talk? I don’t mind chatting with a random stranger for a minute or two, but I don’t want to get stuck awkwardly trying to keep up a conversation with them for half an hour. And I have. It’s …

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Dear Bitter Butch: Should I Out Myself As Straight?

Haddayr Copley-Woods Endings Leave a Comment

Dear Bitter Butch, I tend to use gender-neutral language to avoid being heteronormative, most people assume this is code for “I’m GAY everybody!” They will then use incorrect pronouns when referring to my partner. While I am totally fine with their assumptions I wonder if I should correct them as a) it feels dishonest to continue as if their assumption …

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Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I Talk To My Children About Heteronormativity?

Haddayr Copley-Woods Endings Leave a Comment

Psst, Bitter Butch, help! How do I explain to my kids that there’s a whole lot of heteronormativity and monogamous expectation in the world? They’ve been raised a-religiously, around a lot of queer, alternative relationship structures and around people who are gender variant, and thus far haven’t absorbed the idea that there’s a whole world of “relationships are one born-man …

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Dear Bitter Butch: My Partner Loves Her Sick Cat More Than Her Family

Haddayr Copley-Woods Endings Leave a Comment

Dear Bitter Butch, I deeply love and am committed to my partner. I love her, love being with her, and love our relationship. I want to be a great partner in a healthy, loving way. We’ve been through a few tough situations- a kid in the hospital, work stuff, etc and she and I usually work through it really well. …

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The Five Things I’ve Learned About Starting My Own Law Firm

Stefan BC Best of Bitter Lawyer, Lawyer Leave a Comment

About two months have passed since I decided to stop alternating between applying for jobs that I had no chance of getting, and driving hours on end to the armpit of California for jobs that I didn’t want. That existence was quickly driving me insane, so I figured I’d rather embark into the exciting world of SELF-EMPLOYMENT. As someone who …

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Dear Bitter Butch: How Does Someone Refuse Unhelpful ‘Help’?

Haddayr Copley-Woods Endings 2 Comments

Hi Bitter Butch, I’m going blindo. I have night blindness and some peripheral vision loss, but I’m nowhere near legally blind and don’t need a cane yet. It basically means I take a little longer to get around, especially in the dark, since I have to scan back and forth to get the whole picture (if that makes any sense).  …

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Dear Bitter Butch: I Just Got Married And It Isn’t Going Well

Haddayr Copley-Woods Endings 1 Comment

Dear Bitter Butch, My wedding was a month ago, and things aren’t going very well. My husband is withholding sex. He has done this before, and I know you are probably going to say I shouldn’t have married someone so childish and selfish. But, I did, and now I just need to figure out what to do going forward. I’ve given …

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