Dear Bitter Butch, How does one reconcile loving oneself exactly as one is right now and knowing that one needs to do some fairly serious self-work? – One, not with everything Dear One, Oh oh oh oh oh you ARE a Dear One. My heart goes out to you — because there is so much…


Dear Bitter Butch: What if My Husband is in Love with Another Woman?
Dear Bitter Butch, How do I ask my spouse of 15 years if he has fallen in love with someone else? Specifically I think he has fallen in love with a pretty, together, and much-younger woman at work. Let’s call her Hannah. I don’t think the feelings are reciprocated. In fact, I think my husband…

Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I Handle Terrible Parenting?
Dear Bitter Butch, Last week someone brought their twins into the office. They are, I dunno, less than a year old? The boy is starting to walk, the girl hasn’t yet, so however old that would make them. And the boy was crying. And the mom commented that when the boy cries, the dad says,…

Dear Bitter Butch: How Might Disability Affect My Job Search?
Dear Bitter Butch, I’m hoping to be making a major career change within the next thee months. In addition to all the usual terror and uncertainty that entails, I’ve never had to navigate disability in a formal workplace, and could really use some wisdom. I have chronic pain and noticeable gait changes caused by some…

Dear Bitter Butch: How Can I Subtly Undermine A Fanatically Religious Upbringing?
Dear Bitter Butch, My brother has two children – a 7-year-old boy and 6-year-old girl. His wife is CATHOLIC – in all caps. Their wedding included something like five priests (I can’t remember exactly, I just remember it was well above the required quantity). Their son is named after two popes. She once stated that…

Dear Bitter Butch: What Do I Owe A Former Friend?
Dear Bitter Butch, I need advice on an awkward situation. I’m female, recovering alcoholic for 20+ years, married with two kids, grew up in a small, conservative middle America town, and currently live in a mid-sized liberal middle-America city. A few years ago, in my hometown at a class reunion event, a friend and former drinking buddy from high…

Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I Fall Out Of Love With My BFF?
Dear Bitter Butch, How do I fall out of love with my BFF, who doesn’t reciprocate after a year of misery? I told her I was developing feelings for her a while ago and she said she didn’t feel the same way. I said that our friendship was most important and I would try to…

Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I Avoid Romance With Someone Who Is Manipulating Me?
Dear Bitter Butch, There’s this woman who has a crush on all the people who’ve helped her, including me. I want to be supportive of her gaining independence and self-confidence (we’re all in our early 20’s), but I don’t want to be romantically entangled with someone who so easily clings to her “saviors.” I don’t…

Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I Handle My Kid’s BFF’s Judgmental Mother?
Dear Bitter Butch, How do I handle my kid’s BFF’s mother? I’m having an issue and I can’t figure out how to approach it. My kid will confide in her BFF, and the BFF will tell her mom– all of that is fine. Then the BFF’s mom will join me in a group of chatting…

Dear Bitter Butch: Who Helps the Helper?
Dear Bitter Butch, My partner is by far the dominant personality in our relationship and struggles with crushing waves of negativity towards herself, but that’s not why I’m writing. I’ve read advice columns since I was a kid, I know all about how people don’t change in the fundamentals, and I long ago made my…