Disgraced football star Orenthal James Simpson said that he was “stupid and sorry,” but that excuse didn’t wash with Clark County District Court Judge Jackie Glass, who sentenced Simpson to a minimum of 15 years in prison for charges stemming from a 2007 confrontation in a Las Vegas hotel room. A jury found Simpson guilty…


Nine Bitter Details on Eliot Spitzer
Nine Bitter Details on Eliot Spitzer: We thought we had heard the last of Eliot Spitzer earlier this month when departing U.S. Attorney Michael J. Garcia told The New York Times why he declined to bring charges against the former New York governor in the infamous prostitution case. But then Ashley Dupré, the girl who…

Time To Get a Research Assistant
Reports out of California have confirmed that a former Catholic priest and San Francisco radio talk show host, Bernie Ward, was sentenced to more than seven years in prison late last week for distributing child pornography after dozens of pornographic images of kids as young as three were found on his home computer. Ward, a…

Your Panties Are Safe Again
Police in Wisconsin are reporting that a man who broke into several women’s homes and made off with their underwear was charged last week with five counts of felony burglary. The man, Christopher Sullivan, allegedly broke into the women’s residences, stole some bras and panties, and then, as The Smoking Gun reports, he would later…

We Just Hope It Wasn’t a Water Bra
A 26-year-old Arizona man was arrested this week on suspicion of criminal damage after he tore up his wife’s new bra during an argument involving his visiting in-laws. According to police reports, Salazar called the police to his home to settle a verbal dispute with his wife’s family about the fact that he wanted them…

Enzyte: Long Answer to a Short Question
The founder of male sexual enhancement product Enzyte, which reportedly used ads featuring “Smiling Bob,” the world’s happiest and most confident man, has led to a whopping jail sentence for the founder of Berkeley Premium Nutraceuticals. A judge sentenced the defendant, Steve Warshak, to 25 years in prison after he was convicted in February on…

You Get What You Pay For
Negotiation skills come less readily to some, as reports out of Florida are confirming. Police in Bonita Springs have reported that a man, Fausino Diaz Hernandez, 46, was arrested last week after offering a female undercover cop who was posing as a prostitute two pennies for sex. Lest you think Hernandez wasn’t willing to let…

Ready, Aim, Grow Up
A word of caution to those of you packing water guns: Watch out. According to reports out of New York, a woman, Cassandra Wu, was arrested and taken into custody this weekend after splashing bottled water on a participant in a “massive water gun fight” in New York’s Union Square. The NY Daily News has…

Does This Doorway Make Me Look Fat?
Recent reports out of Texas are confirming that weighing almost half a ton may in fact have an upside. Well, sort of. Above the Law is reporting that prosecutors in Texas just can’t figure out how to incarcerate a woman so enormous that she can’t fit in the local jail. Mayra Lizbeth Rosales, 27, who…

Craig Robinson: Office Party
Craig Robinson, 36, who plays Darryl the warehouse foreman on The Office, is facing felony drug charges, stemming from an arrest during a June traffic stop. According to the criminal complaint, the actor was charged with two counts of possession of a controlled substance. The “substance” allegedly was amphetamines, cocaine and marijuana. Though Robinson’s rep…
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