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Bitter Astrologer: Because It’s Not Your Fault. May 6-12

May 6, 2016 by Bitter Astrologer Leave a Comment

Paleo diets are for freaks who don’t like sugar. So you’ve been steak- NO POTATO- for a week; burning cauliflower crusts and choking down butter infused coffee. Relax! Enjoy that wonder bread and butter brickle ice cream…. And blame your bitter astrologer for your fat ass. INYF, Aries. This weekend, I want you to visit…

Filed Under: Endings Tagged With: astrologer

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Bitter Astrologer: Because It’s Not Your Fault. April 8 – 14, 2016

April 8, 2016 by Bitter Astrologer Leave a Comment

Feeling regret for never having made it to France? For not bungee jumping off that cliff? For not just grabbing him/her/them and kissing ‘em already? Just sit back and relax, you have nothing to feel bad for, it’s all Mercury’s doing. INYF, Aries. Ahhh, Aries in love. More correctly, Aries being a spoiled demanding princess who found…

Filed Under: Endings Tagged With: astrologer

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Bitter Astrologer: Because It’s Not Your Fault. April 1-April 7, 2016

April 1, 2016 by Bitter Astrologer Leave a Comment

The collection calls will keep coming, not because you haven’t been paying your bills. The universe is calling in debts and making them all your problem. INYF, Aries. I’m going to say something here, I want you to read it, then hand it to someone else and have them read it. “People crowd around you…

Filed Under: Endings, Featured Tagged With: astrologer

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Bitter Astrologer: Because It’s Not Your Fault. March 4-10, 2016

March 4, 2016 by Bitter Astrologer 1 Comment

So you haven’t been to work all week: you’re “sick”. (Sick from dirty pajamas, eating mallomars, and watching ‘Moonlighting’ every single day.) Or you have been going into work all week: in the same outfit, no shower, and lunching exclusively on mallomars. INYF you’ve dissolved into the despair of winter, because comets! INYF, Aries. Aries have…

Filed Under: Endings, Featured Tagged With: astrologer

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