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‘Bachelor In Paradise’ – The Final Frontier, Thank God

September 9, 2015 by Dolly Moehrle 1 Comment

Ah my loyal observers of Bachelor in Paradise, here we are in the final three hours of recycled footage, overwrought drama, and shots of crabs that are definitely a metaphor. I spent Labor Day weekend at a retreat, meditating a lot on gratitude and compassion, so I definitely am here to offer those feelings to…

Filed Under: Critic Tagged With: bachelor in paradise, recap

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We Hate Everyone On ‘Bachelor in Paradise’ Except Jorge the Bartender

September 1, 2015 by Dolly Moehrle 1 Comment

Be my friend, Jorge. Let’s hang out. Also, I’m sorry there aren’t too many screencaps, but it’s just because I don’t care about anyone on this terrible show anymore except Jorge. TODAY IN PARADISE…Joe is freaking out. Jade says it’s because he realizes he is not as hot as Samantha, which, AGREED. It’s really nice…

Filed Under: Critic Tagged With: bachelor in paradise, jorge the bartender, recap

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This Week’s ‘Bachelor In Paradise’ Had Crabs

August 26, 2015 by Dolly Moehrle Leave a Comment

This show might be getting to me: last night after I wrote this recap, I had a dream that Tenley had died before the show aired and everyone knew that but me, and everyone was really mad at me because I was mean to Tenley in these recaps, except I didn’t think I was really…

Filed Under: Critic Tagged With: bachelor in paradise, recap, the view

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‘Bachelor In Paradise’ Remained A Horrorshow This Week

August 18, 2015 by Dolly Moehrle 1 Comment

Before the show starts I catch the end of America’s Funniest Home Videos and are these new episodes? How does this show exist with YouTube around? Will America never tire of videos of people almost grievously injuring themselves and others being broadcast into their homes? APPARENTLY NOT, because Bachelor in Paradise is still on! (See…

Filed Under: Critic Tagged With: bachelor in paradise, recap

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