Well, here we are, about to watch one man break the heart of one woman in the name of true love with another woman that he’s known for approximately six weeks. Love, American style! Harrison informs us and the huge crowd of women he’s brought into his studio lair that there are shockers to be…
The Bachelor Season 20 Episode 9: Ben Is Torn Between Two Lovers, Feeling Like A Boring Fool
Sorry I wasn’t able to get the recap to you all on time, but I believe in waiting for commitment before going all the way with the Fantasy Suite episode. It’s all been leading up to this, friends. Boring Ben will get to bed not one but THREE ladies this week, all in the beautiful…
The Bachelor Season 20 Episode 8: More Whiskey Library, Less Crying Please
Tonight is HOMETOWNS. Ben has a creepy fixation on seeing where the four remaining ladies were “raised,” and by whom. Amanda in scenic “Orange County” is first. I don’t want to body shame but I am concerned her top is going to fall off. Amanda, might I recommend something with straps? Every shot of her…
The Bachelor Season 20 Episode 7: Boring Ben’s Warsaw Homecoming
Welcome back! I had two drinks on Valentine’s Day and fell asleep by 8:30, so I missed the Bachelor reunion, and I’m pretty sure this site doesn’t want or need STILL MORE coverage of Bachelor Nation, so let’s just all agree that we sort of miss The Bachelor Live and wish Jade and Tanner the…
The Bachelor Season 20 Episode 6: She Swims With The Pigs
Previously on THE BACHELOR: Olivia was mean! Emily told Ben about it! And then in the middle of a rose ceremony, shock of shocks, horror of all horrors, BEN ASKED TO TALK TO OLIVIA! We join The Bachelor in medias res, as the women debate what Ben might be talking to Olivia about. Ben is,…
The Bachelor Season 20 Episode 5: Now With Awkward Inexplicable Modeling!
Dear God. Has there really been five weeks of this? Tonight is the Iowa Caucus, but aside from the trivia that Farmer Chris participated in a caucus, it does not matter at all because this is the Bachelor, where women are hysterical and men are in charge. Now let’s Make ABC Great Again! Ben welcomes…
The Bachelor Season 20 Episode 3: Sure, A Biplane, Why Not?
Tonight on THE BACHELOR, Olivia spent $40,000 on her clothes before coming to The Bachelor! I don’t think I spent $40,000 on my college education, and look where it got me! The women don’t like Olivia, but there’s more important stuff to worry about, like DATES! Lauren B. gets the one-on-one date, but the bigger…
The Bachelor Season 20 Episode 1: A Boring Bachelor, An Awesome Mean Girl, And A Mini-Horse
I think my favorite thing about this season of The Bachelor so far is I’ve seen more press for Reality Steve, the dude who made a career out of publishing Bachelor(ette)(in Paradise) spoilers, than for Ben, this season’s generic Ken doll who will make a bunch of ladies in questionable outfits sob like small children.…