It’s a little-known secret that I was a big firm summer associate at Dorsey & Whitney in 1971. For two weeks and three days. So, while Bitter Lawyer already has a solid list of the Nine Summer Associate Don’ts, it doesn’t cover the less deadly sins that often apply to people like me and you.…
Growing Up Is Hard
(Click the image to see the full comic.)
From the Archives: "Rope"
Men are curious when it comes to “huge ropes.” You don’t really think about it (or most men don’t, anyway), unless someone happens to plant the seed in your mind—and you happen to have a perfect opportunity to confirm or disprove the myth for yourself. Rope: LIVING the DREAM, Webisode 7
The Exit Interview Fallacy: Beware Greeks Bearing Gifts
If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you already made the gravest error an educated person can possibly make in his or her lifetime, i.e. law school. Everything about that decision virtually guarantees a life of inescapable misery. It’s like walking into a Vegas casino with your life savings (most of it borrowed) and…
I’m Not Going To Your F**king Wedding, Buddy
As summer starts heating up, I have to decide whether I’m gonna break two of my rules. Things that I decided I was not gonna do anymore while I still have a job in the shithole economy: 1. Bang any summer associates. 2. Attend any wedding of my asshole colleagues.
From the Archives: Nine Summer Associate Don’ts
It’s hard to argue with advice like “don’t be an asshole” and “don’t get wasted,” but not all these tips are so obvious. Nine Summer Associate Don’ts
I Eat Pieces of Solo Shit for Breakfast
Q) I’m not a regular reader of Bitter Lawyer but a friend passed on a recent post from “Chank.” Who is this guy? What a crock, providing “SmallLaw advice for BigLaw.” I’m an associate at a large firm and I eat pieces of solo shit like him for breakfast. Seriously. Every solo attorney I’ve come across…
I Moonlight at Fogo de Chao
If you are moonlighting as a meat waiter at Fogo de Chao while working at BigLaw, you’re doing it wrong.
Consider Personal Microbranding to Set You Apart
Adjusted for inflation, BigLaw associates are two dimes for a dozen. Sure, the hiring partners talk about “investing” in associates and “grooming” them for success, but the bottom line is this: you’re a cog in a global machine. Not as fungible as crude oil or wheat, but fungible nonetheless. So, what do you do to…
I'm Not Walking the Partner's Dog
QI’m a fairly new associate at a mid-size West Coast law firm. There’s a partner here who brings in his dog Bruno nearly every day, which is no big deal by itself. Apparently I’m told it’s a West Coast thing, though I don’t know of anyone else doing it at a law firm.