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Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I (Gently!) Correct A Family Member Who Is (Probably Accidentally!) Misgendering Me?

February 25, 2016 by Haddayr Copley-Woods 1 Comment

Dear Bitter Butch, My father is an immigrant from Africa. I recently reconnected with a cousin on Facebook who is still in the old country and who I have never met in person as he is quite a bit younger than me. I’m really enjoying the connection and I’m I am helping him pay for…

Filed Under: Endings, Featured Tagged With: bitter butch

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Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I Deal With ‘Ladies Only’ Baby Showers?

February 11, 2016 by Haddayr Copley-Woods 4 Comments

Dear Bitter Butch, I got invited to a baby shower in honor of soon-to-be parents who recently moved out of town. Yay, I thought, it’ll be so nice to see them and congratulate them. Then I reach the end: “This is a ladies-only event (sorry gentlemen!)” WTF? The invitation lists both parents names, the registry…

Filed Under: Endings Tagged With: baby showers, bitter butch

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Dear Bitter Butch: How Might Disability Affect My Job Search?

January 28, 2016 by Haddayr Copley-Woods 1 Comment

Dear Bitter Butch, I’m hoping to be making a major career change within the next thee months. In addition to all the usual terror and uncertainty that entails, I’ve never had to navigate disability in a formal workplace, and could really use some wisdom. I have chronic pain and noticeable gait changes caused by some…

Filed Under: Endings, Featured Tagged With: advice, bitter butch

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Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I Handle My Girlfriend’s Racist Bestie?

January 7, 2016 by Haddayr Copley-Woods 1 Comment

Dear Bitter Butch, I have an odd problem. My girlfriend has very few friends, and one of them is a racist. Her friend will say bullshit things about other ethnicities, especially African Americans, Asians, and Jews. This friend of hers is herself of mixed race (African American and white–although maybe that doesn’t matter.) I’ve often…

Filed Under: Endings Tagged With: bitter butch, racism

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Dear Bitter Butch: How Can I Be A Better Ally To Disabled People?

December 17, 2015 by Haddayr Copley-Woods 5 Comments

Dear Bitter Butch, I’ve been reading a bunch of your advice columns today, and I came across one in particular, from “Walking Without Rhythm” that struck a chord with me. I am not physically disabled, so I can’t say that I understand what you and this person go through on that account, but I do…

Filed Under: Endings Tagged With: bitter butch, disability

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Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I Weed Out Creeps?

December 3, 2015 by Haddayr Copley-Woods Leave a Comment

Dear Bitter Butch, I am a woman back dating men again for the first time in many years which is stressful enough but I’m also in a complicated, non-monogamous situation that has me looking for open-minded, tolerant people to date. I’ve already had many creepy responses to my online dating profile and one chat with…

Filed Under: Endings Tagged With: bitter butch, online dating

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Dear Bitter Butch: Poly Roundup

November 19, 2015 by Haddayr Copley-Woods 1 Comment

Dear Bitter Butch, I am a 49-year-old bisexual cisman who has been partnered for more than ten years with two older het-married women. One of them is polyamorous; the other is not. So when I say I have two partners, I don’t mean I have two sex partners. Both of my long-time partners are more…

Filed Under: Endings Tagged With: bitter butch, poly, Polyamory

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Dear Bitter Butch: How Can I Convince My Four-Year-Old That Gender Binaries Are Artificial?

November 12, 2015 by Haddayr Copley-Woods 4 Comments

Dear Bitter Butch, My four-year-old child persists in thinking that certain things are okay for girls and not okay for boys, despite numerous attempts on my part to clear this up for her. The voice of her friends is stronger than evidence I have displayed to the contrary or me just flat-out disputing her claims.…

Filed Under: Endings, Featured Tagged With: bitter butch, four-year-olds

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Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I Protect My Bisexual Teen Daughter?

November 5, 2015 by Haddayr Copley-Woods 2 Comments

Dear Bitter Butch, My delightful, amazing, young teen daughter is bi. Her friends know and her immediate family knows, but she hasn’t discussed her sexuality with the extended family. She doesn’t want to talk to them about it, but she’s a pretty open person, so they are likely to know sooner or later (probably sooner,…

Filed Under: Endings Tagged With: bisexual, bitter butch

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Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I Explain That I’m Not Transitioning?

October 29, 2015 by Haddayr Copley-Woods Leave a Comment

Dear Bitter Butch, In good news, I don’t have cancer. In less good news, surgery needs to be involved to maintain the status quo. I had a salpingo-oopherectomy this summer (and let me tell you hot flashes are ridiculous and I would like to trade them in on a puppy), and will be having a…

Filed Under: Endings Tagged With: bitter butch, transitioning

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