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Local Lawyer Reinvents Himself as Middle-Aged Bearded Man

February 20, 2014 by Gregory Luce Leave a Comment

A Cleveland-area ERISA lawyer has successfully reinvented himself as a middle-aged bearded man, according to legal marketing insiders familiar with the matter.

Filed Under: Lawyer, Satire Tagged With: Bitter News

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"Like" Button Ruled Protected Speech; Facebook Dramz Reignite Nationwide

October 7, 2013 by Robin Hitchcock Leave a Comment

The Fourth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled last week that clicking the “like” button on Facebook is a form of speech protected by the First Amendment. While constitutional and media scholars parse the implications of such a seemingly insignificant and “uncreative” action being deemed substantive speech, millions of Americans feel validated over their anger…

Filed Under: Lawyer, News & Views Tagged With: Bitter News

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Florida Man Seeks Pardon Based on Ted Cruz Defense

September 30, 2013 by M Walter Leave a Comment

A Florida man has attracted an empathetic ally in his fight for his freedom. Ted Cruz reportedly asked President Obama to pardon a Florida man, Gary Jones, who was convicted for murder in 2002. Jones has just lost his last appeal this week and Senator Cruz is very eager to “end this flagrant miscarriage of…

Filed Under: Lawyer, Satire Tagged With: Bitter News, Legal News, politics

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Bully Porn Addict Sues Apple

July 24, 2013 by M Walter 1 Comment

Don’t get me wrong, I generally applaud anyone suing Apple. I think they are pushing intellectual property law to the point where it limits healthy competition and will eventually destroy America’s competitive edge. (And, hey, republicans if you are looking to get more youth in your ranks, this might be a good issue for you.…

Filed Under: Columns, Lawyer, News & Views, Really Real News Tagged With: Bitter News, frivolous lawsuits, outrageous lawsuits, stupid lawyers

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Woman Summons Belgian King to Legal Equivalent of Maury Povich Show

June 23, 2013 by Robin Hitchcock Leave a Comment

A Belgian woman has summoned to court several members of the Belgian royal family in a suit to prove that King Albert II is her biological father.

Filed Under: Lawyer, Really Real News Tagged With: Bitter News, Legal News

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Date Goes Wrong When Woman Robbed

June 21, 2013 by Bitter Bachelor Leave a Comment

We all have a story about an awkward first date, but a recent news report out of Wildomar, California cerainly trumps  running out of things to talk about at a coffee shop. According to KESQ in California Terry Michael Fine took a woman out on a date and then things got weird.  Although the report does…

Filed Under: Lawyer, Really Real News Tagged With: Bitter News, dating, real news, robbery

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Italian Men in Pantless Protest: That'll Show 'Em

June 6, 2013 by Robin Hitchcock Leave a Comment

Reuters UK reports that five Italian businessmen staged a protest outside the Italian parliament yesterday, arguing for the abolition of tax debt collection agency Equitalia. You may ask yourself, why is one of the biggest news agencies in the world covering a few Italian dudes’ hissyfit over paying back taxes? Well, the answer is the…

Filed Under: Lawyer, Really Real News Tagged With: Bitter News

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Gun Threats: The Untold Story of Legos and Pop-tarts

May 30, 2013 by M Walter Leave a Comment

As you may know, if you are extremely astute and listen to politics constantly, there is a gun debate going on in this country. Liberals are upset because crazy people keep spraying the general population with bullets. Conservatives are upset because they believe that any gun control legislation at all will eventually lead to an…

Filed Under: Lawyer, News & Views, Really Real News Tagged With: Bitter News, lawsuit

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Prison Break-In

April 8, 2013 by Doug Stephan Leave a Comment

Matthew Matagrano, 36, may serve 10 years in prison after repeatedly trying to sneak into jails because the inmates where “nice.” The Manhattan man is accused of sneaking into jails in four boroughs because they gave him food and made him feel important. According to police, Matagrano, who formerly served time in Rikers Island, would…

Filed Under: Lawyer, News & Views Tagged With: Bitter News, break, matagrano, prison

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War on Grandmothers

January 23, 2013 by Doug Stephan 2 Comments

All the Bitter News that’s not fit to print.

Filed Under: Lawyer, News & Views Tagged With: Bitter News, cocaine, drug smuggling, drug war, grandma, grandmother, indonesia, lindsay june sandiford

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