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Professor Purr Monster: Legal Lessons I Learned From My Cat

December 17, 2020 by A Favorable Light 2 Comments

I’m not one to spend all day explaining to people how intuitive my cats are. But at the same time, I think there are a few lessons my brood has taught me over the years. I don’t just mean that they will pee on my bed in retribution for me going away for a long…

Filed Under: Columns, Lawyer Tagged With: cats, legal advice, litigation

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Anything Dogs Can Do, Cats Can Do…Well, Not Better Exactly…

July 8, 2016 by Bitter Staff 1 Comment

You may have noticed that, just like dogs, there are show cats who compete to be the best of their breed. It’s like a Miss Universe pageant but the owner isn’t orange and the swimsuit competition is way more disturbing. Don’t be ridiculous, no one would put cats in bikinis. Instead, they take hundreds of…

Filed Under: Endings, Featured Tagged With: cat agility competitions, cat fancier association, cats

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5 Odd Animal Facts

November 20, 2015 by Bitter Staff Leave a Comment

1. Hens Can Spontaneously Become Roosters It’s called sex reversal. While it’s not common, it’s a real thing. Not only that, but an Italian rooster apparently decided that it would be advantageous to be a hen, and so began laying eggs.

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Filed Under: SciTech Tagged With: animals, cats, chameleons, octopus, portuguese man of war, weird

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5 Crazy Animal Facts

April 21, 2015 by Bitter Staff Leave a Comment

1. Mantis Shrimp can boil the water in front of them. Not just pretty faces, these shrimp have a crazy spring-loaded clubbed arm that they use to beat the water and their prey into submission, and they do it so fast they can make the water boil. Nature is terrifying.

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Filed Under: SciTech Tagged With: animal facts, blue whale, cats, koalas, mantis shrimp, marsupials, tigers

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BREAKING: Stoned Husband Consults with Committee of Evil Cats Before Shooting at Sexting Wife

August 24, 2012 by Bitter Newsroom Leave a Comment

Ex-police lieutenant wife sexting with younger man at bar. Crazy husband catches her. They go home. Crazy husband investigates further. Gets stoned. Discusses matter with in-house committee of felines. They apparently advise him to shoot her. He shoots at wife sleeping on inflatable mattress. Misses by a foot. Sentenced to 10 years. Wife divorces him.…

Filed Under: Lawyer, News & Views Tagged With: Bitter News, cats, sexting, shooting, wife

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