Lou Pearlman: Citizen of the Year

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Attempting to beat his own personal bottom-feeding record, former boy-band promoter and current federal inmate Lou Pearlman is now trying his hand at being a police informant. Pearlman, who founded promotional machines the Backstreet Boys and ‘N Sync, is currently serving a 25-month sentence in a federal penitentiary for scamming elderly investors out of $300 million in an elaborate pyramid …

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Nick Thompson: Toughest Law Student Ever

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In the past few weeks, recent law grad Nick Thompson has “eaten ‘chicken, brown rice and spinach to the point of nausea,’…doesn’t see his friends, rarely spends time with his family and never goes out on weekends.” In other words, he’s no different than most students prepping for bar exams taking place around the country this week.  Except for one …

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No Mulligan for Giuliani

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Andrew Giuliani, the son of former Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, has filed a federal lawsuit against Duke University after being kicked off the golf team for various minor infractions. The lawsuit asserts that the coach said Giuliani tossed an apple at a teammate, hitting the side of his face, and that in a football game with members of the golf team …

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Christian Bale: Batman Denies Assault

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Media everywhere are reporting that Christian Bale, recently accused by his sister and his 61-year-old mom, a former circus clown, of roughing them up in a London hotel on the eve of the “Dark Knight“‘s European premiere, is now officially denying the accusations. Legal commentators worldwide understand why Bale would issue a fervent denial of the charges, but they have …

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Lorne Michaels' Stalker: Funny or Die

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A New York criminal court has upheld a stalking charge against a man who contacted Saturday Night Live producer Lorne Michaels on several occasions to discuss the show’s alleged use of the man’s “personal thoughts” and “sense of humor” without permission. Court documents report that the stalker, Evans Pidhajecky, “appear[ed] at the producer’s home twice in December 2007, had ‘no …

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Christian Bale: There Is Such a Thing As Bad Publicity

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Concerned that the deluge of press praising co-star Heath Ledger’s performance in the record-breaking mega-hit “The Dark Night” was overshadowing his own role in the film, Christian Bale took it upon himself to prove to the world that he can play a deranged criminal just as convincingly as Ledger.  Against the advice of his agent and publicist, Bale allegedly assaulted …

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Bush Declines Olympian’s Carpool Request

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Marion Jones, the three-time Olympic gold medalist sentenced in January to six months in prison for lying to the feds about her steroid use and a multimillion-dollar check fraud scam, has asked President Bush to commute her sentence. Inside sources at the White House have reported that while the President initially commended Jones for her efforts to conserve gas in …

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Ashley Dupre: Fourteen Minutes and Counting…

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Amber Arpaio, a 26-year-old Jersey girl, is suing hooker-to-the-sort-of-stars Ashley Dupre and a whole bunch of other folks for allegedly stealing her identity and sullying her good name. Arpaio, who works in a dental office, claims that Dupre “somehow” stole her driver’s license in 2003 to convince Girls Gone Wild producers that she was old enough to be filmed and …

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Barenaked Dummy

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Word hit the streets yesterday that Steven Page, the lead singer of the Barenaked Ladies, is planning to fight the recent cocaine charge he racked up last week when he was arrested in an apartment in upstate New York and charged with possession of a controlled substance. When asked about the powdery white substance in his possession, court documents report …

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Almost As Good As Dershowitz

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Allen Garcia, the 33-year-old homeless panhandler who was arrested for selling crack to Tatum O’Neal six weeks ago, was released this week from Rikers Island, only to be stopped by immigration officials as he was walking out of the building, who delivered the bad news: he’s being deported. Pundits from coast to coast were stunned to hear the news of …

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