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Lawyers Discover Clients Always Right. Always!

August 29, 2017 by Han Bitter Solo 2 Comments

In a rather embarrassing admission, attorney Mark Klein has stated his clients are “always right.” It is a shocking statement to most lawyers. “I always thought clients were just mistaken when they said ‘my case is a clear cut winner,’ but, as it almost always turns out, they are correct,” stated the Sacramento solicitor. Klein…

Filed Under: Columns, Lawyer Tagged With: clients, das12, onion, parody

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Declining Representation Letters

April 12, 2013 by Han Bitter Solo 3 Comments

Lawyerist tells me I am to send out Declining Representation letters to potential clients I do not retain. I guess it makes sense and often can explain what options a person might have while still remaining on good terms with people. However, every so often you get that special potential client. We have all had this…

Filed Under: Columns, Lawyer Tagged With: client, das12, letter, representation

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5 Prison Tats For Crim Law Lawyers

March 29, 2013 by Han Bitter Solo 2 Comments

Tattoos and lawyers have been a long held debate here at Bitter Lawyer. Many claim that visible tats will hurt your career prospects. Some claim that having ink will display your uniqueness to the firm. Personally, I believe it depends on your practice area. If you practice in tax law it might be better that…

Filed Under: Columns, Lawyer Tagged With: criminal, das12, lawyers, prison, tattoos

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Pay My Damn Invoice!

March 25, 2013 by Han Bitter Solo 4 Comments

Why do clients believe their attorney’s billing is optional? No, that is not the beginning of some bad joke – its an honest question. If you get your oil changed at the mechanic you have no problem paying. Need  your A/C fixed, pull out that check book. Going to update your kitchen? Here is the…

Filed Under: Columns, Lawyer Tagged With: billing, client, collection, das12, invoice, pay

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Donut Derelicts' Get-Rich-Quick Scheme Fails

March 18, 2013 by Han Bitter Solo Leave a Comment

Police received a call this week from a Utah couple that claimed they found razor blades in their doughnuts. (ATTN: Personal Injury Attorneys). However, after an investigation, police have determined that the couple, Carol Lee Leazer-Hardman and Michael Condor, actually placed the razor blades in the pastries themselves before ingesting the pastries. (ATTN: Prosecutor’s Office).

Filed Under: Lawyer, News & Views Tagged With: Carol lee leazer-hardman, das12, Donuts, get rich quick, michael condor, mouse in bottle, razor blades, scheme, strange brew

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Job Searching . . . On Craigslist

March 13, 2013 by Han Bitter Solo 1 Comment

When you are job searching there is a “no stone unturned” mentality in finding a hopeful employer to send your “based on a true story” résumé and completely bullshit cover letter. One location that I never thought would work but actually has had some results is Craigslist. Yes the same website where you can buy…

Filed Under: Columns, Lawyer Tagged With: craigslist, das12, employment, job hunting, job search, jobs

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Divorce Groupons!

February 15, 2013 by Han Bitter Solo Leave a Comment

Divorce attorneys strike it rich through Groupon.

Filed Under: Columns, Lawyer Tagged With: das12, divorce, Groupon, legal coupons, parody

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What a Thank You Letter Should Say

February 11, 2013 by Han Bitter Solo 1 Comment

Han Bitter Solo provides two form “thank you” letters for post-interview. Choose wisely.

Filed Under: Columns, interview, Lawyer Tagged With: ass kissing, das12, Law Firm, thank you letter, thank you note

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10 Things To Say To a Client You Are Sleeping With

January 31, 2013 by Han Bitter Solo 1 Comment

First, don’t sleep with clients. Second, if you do, you may say these things.

Filed Under: Columns, Lawyer Tagged With: das12, lawyer sex, naughty, sex with client, sleep with client, talk dirty, talk like an attorney, unethical

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