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Bitter Astrologer: Because It’s Not Your Fault. February 26 – March 3, 2016

February 26, 2016 by Bitter Astrologer 1 Comment

INYF your blood pressure is through the roof, you’re 50 pounds overweight, and you’re out of breath waddling from the couch to the bathroom. The beer-quesalupa-cheesecake diet is NOT why you’re a heart attack in waiting, you’re unhealthy because Jupiter! (or Mars, or Moon. Whatever.) INYF, Aries. One of the things I love most about…

Filed Under: Endings, Featured Tagged With: bitter astrologer, horoscope

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Bitter Astrologer: Because It’s Not Your Fault. January 29-February 4, 2016

January 29, 2016 by Bitter Astrologer Leave a Comment

So the first month of the new year comes to a faked orgasm close, folks. How are you doing on your resolutions? Lemme tell you how you’re doing: horrible. You’re doing it all wrong. But, it’s not your fault, the stars want to make you fail. INYF, Aires.  You’ve achieved half of your resolutions already! (And…

Filed Under: Endings, Featured Tagged With: bitter astrologer, horoscope, it's not your fault

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