I don’t have a long or extensive history with dating sims, so I was surprised to find myself being murdered by the school bully in one I played recently. But maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised: the game is called John Cena’s Sexy High School Adventure, after all. Yes, that is a thing that exists: John Cena’s…
Two-And-A-Half Heels
John Cena and Cesaro had a very long match Monday night. The announcers repeatedly deemed it a classic well before the fight was over, but there was a conspicuously absent element that made Michael Cole’s proclamations ring hollow: the crowd. They weren’t silent — more on that in a moment — but they did not chant…
On Object Permanence In The WWE
I. Should your roommate (Fig. 1, “Sam”) purchase a projector for your apartment, you may experience a televisual shift away from your traditional solo-Netflix viewership. Through an HDMI attachment to a laptop, beaming the projection across a Bradburian chunk of your living room wall may cause an increase in sharing one another’s company during screen…
There Is A Flintstones/WWE Crossover Movie And We Watched It
Early in this 50’s-sitcom inspired, classic children’s cartoon straight-to-DVD WWE crossover movie, The Flintstones & WWE: Stone Age Smackdown, Fred and Barney have decided their solution to their problems is animal fighting. Fred’s boss having just carved his paycheck on a stone tablet and smashed it with a hammer in front of him, as it…
WWE RAW Recap: If Fastlane’s Theme Isn’t The Eagles Song, We Riot
Hello, and welcome to last week’s RAW recap. It’s the RAW before Fastlane, the last Pay Per View before Wrestlemania and so far only PPV without a clear reason for its title. But never mind that, because John Cena’s already talking.1 If you take last week’s Cena-Rusev promo and subsequent brawl and reverse their roles,…
WWE RAW Recap: Everybody’s Here
Last week’s RAW opened unnecessarily with the entire WWE roster in the ring, apparently having just heard an announcement that the Jonestown kool-aid was about to be passed around. No, wait, worse — enter the Authority. The formerly overthrown Authority (Triple H and Stephanie McMahon, specifically) were reinstated last week when Seth Rollins appeared during…