Inexplicably, we have begun midterms. I know, we’re like four weeks in, so how can it already be the middle of the term? It is not. It would be more accurate to call these, early-semester indicators of your stupidity, but obviously the profs decided that was a bit wordy. You may think from last week’s…
Tales from the Trenches: Law School is Psychological Warfare
My friends would say I’m relatively laid back. No, really. In my normal life, no one would ever think, “hey, I bet you really enjoy crushing people’s dreams.” Well, I’m here to tell you that I do. I don’t know why. It seems reasonable to assume that in grad school I still had something to…
Tales from the Trenches: Commas and Semicolons, and Colons, Oh My!
Has anyone noticed that lawyers are obsessed with punctuation marks? I mean, just obsessed. I mean, I get it: Correct grammar can make a profound difference. But seriously, when is the last time the choice between a semicolon and a colon had immense implications for your writing? Damn it! Now, I’m trying to think of…
Tales from the Trenches: Law School Sucks
You guys, why didn’t you tell me law school was haaaard? It’s hard. Don’t get me wrong, it’s interesting. You lawyers have some brass balls. This week, alone, I’ve learned that an airplane is not a motor vehicle and that if you get caught selling drugs near a park, you should at least try arguing…
So You Blew Off Your Study Days
Hey law school students! For many of you, it’s that time of the year again: the day when you realize you’ve fucked off all your study days and finals loom. Yes, study days, that weird limbo between classes ending and exams starting. Somehow you are supposed to use those few paltry days to make up…
5 Types of Law School Solicitation Letters
If you perhaps took the LSAT, you may find that your inbox is crammed full of exciting law school solicitation letters. After your results were released, you may have seen the first few and read them, feeling smug about the recognition you were receiving for your excellent score. Until you realized that these letters were…
Taking the LSAT? Practice with our very Bitter questions.
Your Law School Students Don’t Get Your Jokes Because You Are Old
It’s that time of year again. A new semester has sprung and you are thinking to yourself, wow, these students are idiots. They are not. What has actually happened is that you are the olds. It’s true. It’s happening to the best of us right now. These students aren’t aggressively apathetic to your jokes, they…
How To Juke Your Law School Employment Stats In Four-And-A-Half Easy Steps
To Whom It May Concern: I am writing to apply for a position as a Career Counselor at your law school. If hired, I would be a solid contributor to your office, due to my legal and accounting background. Before following my lifelong dream of becoming an attorney, I worked as a certified public accountant…
A Comprehensive List Of Everyone Encouraging You To Go To Law School
1. Your Mother 2. People Who Are Already Lawyers 3. Current Law Students 4. Notorious Gangster Whitey Bulger