Reason No. 2,341 that I hate being a lawyer: when a friend or family member asks for my legal advice.


All Missile, No Warhead: Use Cliches Like a Lawyer
Helpful cliches to be used liberally whenever anyone shows up to a meeting unprepared and gets called upon to speak unexpectedly

Zimmerman & Anthony: Juries are Actually Pretty Good at What They Do
Make your story very simple! Don’t confuse the jury! We repeat these mantras over and over again. To our colleagues, we say things like “Well, yeah, but do you think a jury would understand that?” The trial attorney is constantly worrying that the poor uneducated peons on his or her jury just won’t understand his…

5 Reasons Why Being a Lawyer is Really Not as Cool as I Thought

Karate-Style Trial Objections
An illustrated guide to the ancient art of using karate-style objections at trial.

Confirming Letters from My Father, a Lawyer
This letter confirms our conversation in the breakfast room on March 10, 2012, in which I said “Good morning,” and you said “whatevs.” This also confirms that, for reasons I believe were apparent, we did not discuss matters further. This letter confirms last night’s discussion over dinner in which you indicated that you “never really…

Biography of a Child Law Prodigy
The unfinished biography of Alton Jay Ferris, child law prodigy.

What A Lawyer Does
What a lawyer does, a case study from a variety of perspectives

Devolution of the Lawyer
How a person devolves from undergrad to law school to first year associate to fifth-year associate to partner.

Chronicles of a Government Lawyer: Coffee
My office does not provide any complimentary coffee, that bitter nectar of gods. Welcome to the life of a government lawyer.