Prenup Party Proceeds As Expected

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Local media is reporting that a woman in Poulsbo, Washington has been jailed after allegedly “beating up her fiancé at their prenuptial party.” Without elucidating what exactly a prenup party is, officials from the county sheriff’s department explained that the woman’s 12-year-old son told her “he saw her fiancé kissing one of her women friends early [that] morning,” at which …

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Sounds Like They Were Just Jealous

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A man in Britain has officially been banned from visiting his girlfriend’s apartment after her neighbors “complained about noisy sex.” A city council spokesperson has reported that, after two years of neighbors’ complaints about “thumping music, banging headboards and screamed obscenities,” a court finally issued an injunction barring the man, Adam Hinton, from being within 110 yards of his girlfriend …

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Christian Bale: No Cage for This Batman

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Weeks after being accused by his sister and 61-year-old mother, a former circus clown, of roughing them up in a London hotel on the eve of the “Dark Knight“‘s European premiere, British police are reporting that Christian Bale will not be charged with any crime. This is after police had originally “delayed questioning Bale for a day to avoid disrupting …

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Now That’s a Lineup We’d Like to See

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Just in case you wondering what might be the one thing more humiliating than being beat up by a girl, police in Japan are reporting that they have have arrested a 20-year-old man who attacked and robbed two people for staring at the full-body Winnie-the-Pooh costume he just happened to be wearing. Officials have reported that the man, Masayuki Ishikawa, …

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Nasza Klasa: It’s Not Even Porn!

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Warning to Big Firm lawyers across America: the hours you spend at work trolling around the Internet for gossip and catching up with friends may be in danger. That is, at least, if your firms decide to follow the lead of Poland’s national police headquarters, which, international media sources report, has just banned officers from using “Nasza Klasa,” a popular …

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