When incarcerated, most inmates expect to have some basic necessities provided for—things like food, safety, shelter, and clothing. But for a group of kids at Cook Co. Juvenile Temporary Detention Center in Chicago, that list is longer and includes access to the rec yard, library, and chapel. And if those resources are disrupted for any…


Oregon Death Row Inmate Gets Reprieve, Tries to Have it Overturned
Governor John Kitzhaber granted a reprieve to all of the prisoners on Oregon’s death row in November 2011. While he did not commute the sentences, he stated that he would not allow any more executions to take place while he was in office because he feels the death penalty is morally wrong. Of course, this…

Prison Break-In
Matthew Matagrano, 36, may serve 10 years in prison after repeatedly trying to sneak into jails because the inmates where “nice.” The Manhattan man is accused of sneaking into jails in four boroughs because they gave him food and made him feel important. According to police, Matagrano, who formerly served time in Rikers Island, would…

5 Prison Tats For Crim Law Lawyers
Tattoos and lawyers have been a long held debate here at Bitter Lawyer. Many claim that visible tats will hurt your career prospects. Some claim that having ink will display your uniqueness to the firm. Personally, I believe it depends on your practice area. If you practice in tax law it might be better that…

The Championship Game
The winning equation of the South + College Football + Booze + Recently Released from Jail.

6 Useless Legal Services To Offer In Prison
Big Law associates don’t have much to offer fellow prisoners in return for protection.

Bitter News, Week of August 15, 2011
Here are your headlines from the Bitter Newsroom, where we pay attention to signs. Made of Only the Finest Felons: Frederick James is selling an exclusive selection of iPad covers made from the pants of Bernie Madoff, sourced from an auction held by the US Marshals Service last fall. We feel these modern day scalps would make the…

Enzyte: Long Answer to a Short Question
The founder of male sexual enhancement product Enzyte, which reportedly used ads featuring “Smiling Bob,” the world’s happiest and most confident man, has led to a whopping jail sentence for the founder of Berkeley Premium Nutraceuticals. A judge sentenced the defendant, Steve Warshak, to 25 years in prison after he was convicted in February on…

Bush Declines Olympian’s Carpool Request
Marion Jones, the three-time Olympic gold medalist sentenced in January to six months in prison for lying to the feds about her steroid use and a multimillion-dollar check fraud scam, has asked President Bush to commute her sentence. Inside sources at the White House have reported that while the President initially commended Jones for her…