Bitter Empire

  • Critic
  • Lawyer
  • SciTech
  • Endings
  • 
  • 
  • 
lawyer

From the Archives: How Not to Sleep with a Summer Associate

June 17, 2011 by Bitter Vault Leave a Comment

“My favorite time of year has arrived. Late spring. The flowers are blooming, the sun is shining, the skirts are short and the 2010 Summer Program is around the corner. As we all know, I struggle to resist the temptation of luring a hot female summer back to my lair for a night of meaningless…

Filed Under: Columns, Lawyer Tagged With: From the Archives, Unethical & Amoral

Share this post

tell a friend

Golf Is For Winners

June 8, 2011 by Matthew Richardson 9 Comments

I hate golf. These are just a few of the things I’d rather do than play it: Get my ass waxed Attend a CLE seminar See a Kate Hudson movie But that wasn’t always the case. A few years back I actually enjoyed playing golf and was getting fairly decent at it. But then, much…

Filed Under: Columns, Lawyer Tagged With: golf, Unethical & Amoral, Wall Street

Share this post

tell a friend

The Perils of Cuckolding

May 18, 2011 by Matthew Richardson 18 Comments

I think it’s high time I get back to sharing some shameful tales over the past year that you’ve missed out on. May as well start off with the worst one. Most of the stories, I’ve told make me seem pretty deplorably, and frankly, I am. But, I still have some minimal code of ethics, boundaries…

Filed Under: Columns, Lawyer Tagged With: Unethical & Amoral

Share this post

tell a friend

Training Day

April 28, 2011 by Matthew Richardson 9 Comments

For all my griping about my secretary Nancy’s gross incompetence, if there is one positive word I would use to describe her, it is old-school. For fans of Mad Men, she was my Joan Holloway. Well, an ugly, fat, mole-y version, but you get the idea. She knew how things worked. So when she was…

Filed Under: Columns, Lawyer Tagged With: secretaries, Unethical & Amoral

Share this post

tell a friend

Return From the Black Lagoon

April 20, 2011 by Matthew Richardson 22 Comments

Truthfully, when some dudes from Minnesota who write a law firm marketing advice blog emailed me and told me they bought Bitter Lawyer and wanted me to come back, I thought it was a prank. I was like umm “have you actually read my column—not too much practical advice for the upstanding lawyer.” But I…

Filed Under: Columns, Lawyer Tagged With: travel, Unethical & Amoral

Share this post

tell a friend

How to NOT Sleep With a Summer Associate

May 17, 2010 by Matthew Richardson 25 Comments

Matthew Richardson’s Five Commandments for a trouble-free summer involving law firm summer associates

Filed Under: Columns, Lawyer Tagged With: biglaw, summer associates, Unethical & Amoral

Share this post

tell a friend

Thank God for Those Bulls#!t U.S. News Rankings

April 27, 2010 by Matthew Richardson 17 Comments

With a decreasing number of slots at high-paying shops, it’s no wonder US News & World Report rankings mean more than ever.  But they’re still bullshit.

Filed Under: Columns, Lawyer Tagged With: T1 law school, T2 law school, TTT Schools, Unethical & Amoral, US News

Share this post

tell a friend

BigLaw Madness: Elite 8 and The Finals

March 30, 2010 by Matthew Richardson 4 Comments

Unethical and Amoral Matthew Richardson breaks down BigLaw into the Elite 8 and takes March Madness at the firm to the finals

Filed Under: Columns, Lawyer Tagged With: March Madness, NCAA, Unethical & Amoral

Share this post

tell a friend

The BigLaw Sweet Sixteen

March 22, 2010 by Matthew Richardson 11 Comments

A Sweet 16 face off in a systematical competition between the best and worst people in BigLaw

Filed Under: Columns, Lawyer Tagged With: March Madness, NCAA, Unethical & Amoral

Share this post

tell a friend

All’s Fair in Lust and Recruiting

February 24, 2010 by Matthew Richardson 18 Comments

I was feeling particularly bored the other day.  I had been working round-the-clock on a deal that was about to close.  Hadn’t had sex in days.  Hadn’t tasted a drop of booze in a week.  And I think my favorite Mexican stripper, Luciana, was deported last weekend.  Desperate for a cheap thrill, I did something…

Filed Under: Columns, Lawyer Tagged With: Unethical & Amoral

Share this post

tell a friend
  • « Previous Page
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • Next Page »

Editor’s Choice

  • Bitter Vault: I Lied to a Partner About Girl Scout CookiesBitter Vault: I Lied to a Partner About Girl Scout Cookies
  • Cinéma Atroce: PopeyeCinéma Atroce: Popeye
  • On Donald Trump And Preying Upon WeaknessOn Donald Trump And Preying Upon Weakness
  • Cinéma Atroce: CroczillaCinéma Atroce: Croczilla
  • A Lack Of Fire In ‘Creative Fire’A Lack Of Fire In ‘Creative Fire’

I’m A Bitter

  • Critic
  • Lawyer
  • SciTech
  • Endings

More From Bitter Empire

  • A Look Back At My Year In Speculative FictionA Look Back At My Year In Speculative Fiction
  • When Giant Kangaroos Ruled The World, They Didn’t HopWhen Giant Kangaroos Ruled The World, They Didn’t Hop
  • New Study Says Language Biased Towards Happiness. Yes, Even Twitter.New Study Says Language Biased Towards Happiness. Yes, Even Twitter.
  • Creed: Mansions of Glory (With So Many Spoilers)Creed: Mansions of Glory (With So Many Spoilers)
  • Story Time: My Lactation Consultant is a Lesbian WerewolfStory Time: My Lactation Consultant is a Lesbian Werewolf
  • About Us
  • 
  • 
  • 