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Your Bitter Empire E3 Predictions

Ian Boudreau Critic Leave a Comment

The first Electronic Entertainment Expo – or E3, as the kids say nowadays – was held twenty years ago and this year’s event will officially kick off Tuesday. E3 has traditionally been the venue for massive video game-related announcements, and so, clasping my talisman of Gamez Jurnalizm close against my breast, I will now predict what we’ll see in this …

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I Played The John Cena Dating Sim So You Don’t Have To

Ian Boudreau Critic 2 Comments

I don’t have a long or extensive history with dating sims, so I was surprised to find myself being murdered by the school bully in one I played recently. But maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised: the game is called John Cena’s Sexy High School Adventure, after all. Yes, that is a thing that exists: John Cena’s Sexy High School Adventure. You …

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A Beginner’s Guide To Good Video Game Sex

Ian Boudreau Critic Leave a Comment

When it comes to portrayals of sex – and I mean the act itself rather than the physiology – video games have historically ranged from “embarrassing” to “incredibly embarrassing.” It’s a stereotype that has not been unearned. But there have been a few games in recent years that have refreshingly bucked the trend, with depictions of sex that are at least …

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Learning To Love The Grind With Monster Hunter

Ian Boudreau Critic Leave a Comment

As regular readers may have sussed out by now, I’m almost exclusively a PC game-player. But for the past weeks, I’ve been glued to the relatively tiny screens on my Nintendo 3DS. I’ve had one for more than a year now (during which time I learned that Pokémon is really not my thing), but it’s taken Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate …

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Mommy issues – The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth

Ian Boudreau Critic Leave a Comment

How to talk about The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth? Its vital statistics – a reboot of a procedurally-generated dungeon adventure with heavy overtones of the original Zelda and a host of Freudian issues – don’t really tell the story. Neither does “shoot the poop,” which is literally a thing you do in the game. There’s been a bit of a …

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Alien: Isolation – We Can’t Lie To You About Your Chances

Ian Boudreau Critic 3 Comments

I’m trapped, hiding – cowering, really – in someone’s locker. I can see a little of the room outside through the slats on the door, but what’s keeping my spine pressed against the back of the locker are sounds: heavy, erratic footfalls that become something tinnier (is that the ventilation system?), and the occasional hiss. I’m too afraid to move, …

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Bitter News, Week of August 8th, 2011

Bitter Newsroom Lawyer, News & Views Leave a Comment

Here are your headlines from the Bitter Newsroom, where we bounce back! Why Lawyer Pay Will Shrink: Reverse auctions are driving Biglaw rates down as large firms anonymously submit quotes for a jobs posted by major companies. With the increased number of lawyers being dumped into the market graduating each year, it seems like this may be a trend with legs. Whoops, forgot to …

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