Remember the lady who was super mad that her pantyhose did not give her an orgasm, as was apparently promised by the commercial?
Oh, how we chortled at that lawsuit, because that is a ridiculous class action and the law firm that filed it should be subject to both ridicule (because PANTYHOSE ORGASM LAWSUIT) and a sort of grudging approval for staying on your grind and taking whatever silly case comes your way because you need the coin. But what about if someone asked you if you would like to take a case where the promise of an orgasm was actually much more…explicit AND you got to sue the author of 50 Shades of Grey? Hell yeah you’d take that case.
In a complaint filed on Thursday, Tania Warchol claims that she purchased Fifty Shades of Grey Come Alive Pleasure Gel for Her, part of Lovehoney’s Official Pleasure Collection Approved by [50 Shades Author E.D.] James […]
The complaint notes that the product’s packaging promises users will “experience enhanced orgasms and stimulation as every tingle, touch and vibration intensifies.” It includes the lines from James’ second Fifty Shades novel printed on the box — “I surrender, exploding around him — a draining, soul-grabbing orgasm that leaves me spent and exhausted.”
Now that, unlike the pantyhouse advert, pretty much sounds like this product will actually factually give you an orgasm, or at least make your existing orgasms much more “soul-grabbing,” whatever that might be.
Also unlike the pantyhose lawsuit, this one actually seems to have some sort of cause of action (besides “lack of orgasm”) relating to FDA approval and latex compatibility, though who cares about that part because it is not nearly as funny.
Semi-related, the depth and breadth of product licensing the 50 Shades people did is impressive. You can get sensual bubble bath (from Target, of all places), cosmetics, grey nail polish (which just seems like it would make your nails look, well, dead), and, most terribawesome of all, the 50 Shades of Grey teddy bear, a product which is sponsoring hours upon hours of your public radio programming.
What if there were lawsuits about all of these products failing to deliver? Especially that teddy bear? That would be the best.
Please please please let this case not get kicked on a motion to dismiss. We cannot WAIT to see the discovery on this thing.