You may have noticed that your intrepid observer of all things weird and random at law school took a break. That is because none of you jerks told me about the dreaded exam period. Law school exams suck. The hype around law school exams sucks way more.
As I mentioned last time, my fellow pupils spent the bulk of the exam “study” period setting their hair alight. And again, this week has taught me that panic is contagious.
I was inexplicably more nervous about these exams than I was about my doctoral defense. Which, just for the record, is not 70% of your grade for one class – it is 100% of your ability to finish your PhD. Fail the defense, fail the PhD, and lose, what, 8 years of your life? And yet, I was definitely more nervous about the stupid 1L exams.
And maybe with good reason. Professor Excellent Hair managed to ask us something that we had not specifically covered over the course of the semester. If you are a law student, preparing for your exams, accept defeat on this matter.
I’m pretty sure that the profs do this on purpose, to see how well you can reason through an unexpected situation, and then use that as a way to differentiate the grades. Yeah, it sucks, but, it sucks for everyone, so accept it, and move on.
The worst part about these exams: my brain is saying “you did fine” while my heart is screaming “you have failed! you should have studied more.”
And my heart is correct on that score. Studying was a little elusive. I made this awesome coca-cola chocolate cake instead. Yes, it was a better choice, thank you for asking.
What have I learned from this endeavor?
That law students are, in general, OCD. How many pencils and highlighters do you need for an exam you take on the computer? 37.
And never forget the importance of a ruler. Why? Who the fuck knows. But, one day we’re going to need one, and I’m going to be the only asshole in the class that doesn’t have one.
Also, you may need a blanket. I’m not sure why, because we go to The Fancy-Pants School of Law and take our exams in small, comfortable classrooms, and not shitty state university where you sit your exams in the gymnasium. Yep. That’s what I learned.
Oh. And that the semester is over and I’m going to party like it’s 1999. See you later, suckers.
Oh, how we all wish it was 1999.
Looking for the first installment? Start here.