Ten Telltale Signs It’s Law School Finals Time

Not an Elle law school, Lawyer, Not an Elle 6 Comments

1 You’ve lost all semblance of anything close to a “normal” sleep schedule and catch yourself brewing coffee at midnight and going to bed “for the night” at seven am.

2 You’ve lost all sense of “normal business hours” and try to go Christmas shopping or to the post office at 1am, immediately after perfecting an outline.

3 You have no idea what day of the week it is—except it’s not a day on which you have a final.

4 You have friends and classmates who have completely disappeared, witness protection style. No one has seen or heard from these people since your last class together and you only see them at the actual exam. They somehow vanish before you even turn in your test booklet.

5 You know at least three classmates who deactivated Facebook to “minimize distractions.” Unfortunately, they distract you by reminding you repeatedly that they “aren’t on Facebook right now.”

6 Of the classmates who remain on Facebook, you can count on at least three for excessive and needless status updates on studying and outline progress. They have no social life, hence the using of social media to brag about perceived accomplishments. No one is interested, impressed, or threatened.

7 The concept of appropriate law school attire has degenerated into anything the person has handy that is remotely clean. People show up to finals in tank tops and winter hats, no longer even giving the pretense of concern for appearance.

8 You receive emails from classmates with miscellaneous outlines or notes that have sign offs like, “if you share this with anyone, you will be disappeared.”

9 You start going to the undergrad library to study because people who haven’t been in the law library all semester decided to set up camp there—at the table you’ve used all semester.

10 If you stay in the law school to study, there are always a handful of people “studying” who don’t want or know how to study. They approach you and say “You went to ____ for undergrad, right?” Uhh, what? We aren’t even friends. This is not the time for icebreaker get-to-know-you games.

Good luck to everyone going through finals. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. It’s neon and advertising the shot specials you’ve missed so much while studying.


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  • Guano Dubango

    It is just before finals that some attractive women tend to loosen up their sexuality a bit, and allow men that they otherwise would never have looked at during the semester to get close to them and even do things they would never have ever done before these impending finals. This is because the men, previously physically unattractive, can now be viewed a bit less skeptically, particularly if they know and can teach them the meaning of certain legal concepts before the exam. Smart men must be cognizant of this, and carpe la femme when there is a suitable opening.

  • Bryan

    11. You’re reading this to delay more studying.

  • hbbean

    If I wasn’t so slammed with finals I’d have more time to list the numerous ways the above comment is offensive. As it is, I will only say eeww gross. I don’t know where you went to law school, but here even the “most attractive” among us get pretty gross around finals. Most importantly, Elle, brilliant post! Spot on and super funny.

  • Cailin M. Gudio

    Oh….law school finals….I was just thinking about my last semester in law school, which was exactly one year ago. Even though it’s been a year since my last law school exam – not yet a year since the bar exam! – I still nervously twitch thinking about those “final” days.

    Good luck to all the students out there! Try to take care of yourselves during this dark time!

  • Mean Partner

    To all you law students studying, a word from the class of –i think it was 1980. Maybe 1978.

    Law practice has been good to me and its a great gig! I encourage you all to pursue it! Most lawyers are great people, and whatever their politics, they are great to work with or socialize with (yes you do talk about law–duh. Like any professional does). Trust me you’ll do well or well enough to graduate. If you don’t finish in the top 10%, not to worry: most of my classmates that did not finish in the top ten percent have done well– meaning 2 porches, a cute spouse and and a great house well. You will too. Overstressing is the worst enemy of exam taking.

    Skip the footnotes, the judges names (except in conlaw), forcus on the issues, play with the facts and you’ll ace it.

    See you all in court or wherever. Trust me: you’ll all be driving ferraris, Benzes and its all worth it. Yes its hard but its worth it. Good luck!

  • Charles

    11. You’re totally ticked that someone who didn’t have to camp in the library to pass the class can come in and take “your” precious space to cram for the exam and actually take time to speak to you, for a moment, and they somehow score above you after you made remarks to your circle of friends about how you felt sorry for them.