You want to know what annoys me to the point of claiming “Associate Abuse?” It’s the fact that I spend more than six hours flying per week, but I can never sleep on the plane. It’s not because I have a fear of flying or because of those uncomfortable seats. The reason I can’t sleep is because my boss sacks out before the plane can even level off! Plus, as I see it, there’s been one occasion of really crossing the line.
We’ve been making the same three-hour flight together twice a week for the last six months (and will be for some time to come), and I can hardly think of a single time he hasn’t used my shoulder as a pillow, invaded my legroom and blocked my access to the aisle or bathroom. Because, of course, he always “let’s me” have the window seat.
Trust me, trust me, trust me! I’ve thought of every possible way we could possibly book separate seats, but even though it’s a long flight, it’s still a commuter jet with one class of service and only 60 small, crammed seats. I’ve asked his secretary who makes all the reservations several times about getting separate seats, but she acts like she’s under strict orders to put us together.
No matter what, my shoulder feels like it’s been through hell by the time we land. He’s a large man, and I’m a tiny, 5’3” woman. It’s a total mismatch; and I often struggle to keep from being crushed under his weight. But I guess that’s why he likes it so much—he knows he will never get stuck to anyone sizable enough to cramp him.
Oh! And he snores! Um, and I mean that it’s loud enough for me to hear him over the cabin noise. And as long as I’m totally calling him out, there have also been a few occasions of drool. After he practically ruined one designer top, I cling as close as I can to the window when I know he’s in really deep sleep.
So this all leads up to what happened last week. We were on our regular 7:10 flight at the beginning of the week when I reached up to adjust the air. As I did, my boss—asleep as usual—moaned and slid his right arm firmly and directly across my chest.
That’s right. I got felt up. By my boss. While he was sleeping. If I could have jumped out the goddamned window, I would have.
I had a really terrible reaction and said something (I don’t remember what), and it must have been loud enough to wake him. Through his sleepy eyes, he just starred at me, but he didn’t apologize, even though I’m certain he knows he did it because he had that stupid, sheepish look on his face that all men get.
I folded my arms and played defense for the rest of the flight. I just wish the bastard had been awake when he groped me because I’m not sure about the merits of a sexual harassment lawsuit where the defendant is unconscious.
Ever since that day, I’ve been a complete rag to him. I can’t help it. But I don’t think he even cares, so what’s a girl to do?
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