Troubled? Call the Gays

Yesterday, members of the Los Angeles glitterati, along with a few politicians, descended upon City Hall for a hearing to discuss a proposed “anti-paparazzi” ordinance that would protect celebrities and the public by creating a “personal safety zone” between aggressive photographers and their subjects.

Notably absent from the hearing was the Los Angeles Police Department—not necessarily a surprise, since earlier that morning, LAPD police chief and NYPD expat William Bratton, who apparently “opposes any new laws concerning paparazzi,” called the hearing in a television interview a “total waste of time.” Just to galvanize his point, Bratton explained, “If you notice, since Britney started wearing clothes and behaving; Paris is out of town not bothering anybody, thank God; and, evidently, Lindsay Lohan has gone gay, we don’t seem to have much of an issue.”

Well, there you have it, kids. Forget all that crap your legal advisers, managers and agents have told you about getting your life back on track through rehab, court-mandated therapy and the like. Follow the lead of those clearly stronger and wiser and more famous than you: If you want to go straight, just go gay.  [NY Times]

Photo by Jon Rawlinson