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Virginia Updates Bar Exam Dress Code to "Hipster Fabulous"

Robin Hitchcock Lawyer, Satire 1 Comment

The Virginia Board of Bar Examiners have enforced a strict dress code of “proper business attire” for applicants during test-taking, much to the chagrin of recent law-school grads used to taking exams in pajama pants and ratty sweatshirts. After years of criticism, the Board of Bar Examiners for the Commonwealth of Virginia has finally relented to pressure and will be eradicating its formal dress code for something more in line with the times. Board Vice-President Jane Spellman announced on the VBBE website last week that the dress code for 2013 applicants will be “Hipster Fabulous.”

“Our former dress code was meant to impart the seriousness of a professional entrance exam and push applicants into respecting its importance. But market research confirmed that recent law school graduates do not respect suits and ties, with one representative applicant saying, ‘I thought I wanted JT to put out another album, but this BeeGees crap is best left on SNL.” This response and those like it bewildered the board, so they turned to Dr. Chase Daniels, author of Millenials: Here’s the Deal. Dr. Daniels explained, “this generation only respects the carefully crafted illusion of lazy irreverence. Business attire is for funerals and jobs you leave after one year to be in-house counsel/ping pong gamemaster at a start-up. If they come to the exam dressed like they’re already the ping pong gamemaster, they’ll give the proceedings their full respect.”

“We hope applicants commit to the new dress code and don’t just show up with a fake moustache or oversized glasses.” adds Ms. Spellman. “An ironic tee only gets you so far, but an ironic tee paired with burlap suspenders, a thrifted cardigan and a pork pie hat? That shows true respect for the the importance of the bar exam.”

Asked to comment on Virginia’s new bar examination dress code, bar applicant Shaela Harkins adjusted her plastic barrettes, smoothed down her peter pan collar and said, “Whatevs. I’m not really a hipster. I don’t like labels.” She then ordered an artisanal vegan lichi smoothie and went back to studying contracts.

(photo: Nerd retro british indie look with handkerchief and vintage via Shutterstock)

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