An Indonesian court has sentenced a British grandmother to death for smuggling cocaine onto the resort island of Bali. Lindsay June Sandiford, 56, was arrested and found guilty of smuggling $2.5 million dollars worth of cocaine in her suitcase, but claimed it was done because a gang who was threatening to hurt her children forced her. The verdict noted that Sandiford damaged the image of Bali as a tourism destination because of the dangerous drugs. The verdict was actually higher than the 15-year sentence prosecutors were demanding because of Ms. Sandiford’s age.
Yikes. Go ahead and check Bali off the list of places to visit. Prosecutors wanted 15 years and the judge is like, “Eh she’s old might as well kill her.” Seriously though, is Lindsay Sandiford the worst drug mule of all time? Putting $2.5 million dollars worth of cocaine in your suitcase? Who are you — George Jung? You have to be more creative than that. I’m pretty sure airport workers can open up suitcases all the time just for fun/personal shopping.
Then again smuggling drugs into Southeast Asia is about the last thing a grandmother is able to do. Here is a list of things Grandmothers are awesome at:
- Making Cookies;
- Sending you a card on your birthday with a perfectly crisp $2 dollar bill;
- Knitting; and
- Buying you socks at Christmas
Here is a list of things Grandmothers are not awesome at:
- Working a Computer;
- Smuggling drugs into Southeast Asia; and
- Not saying things in a racist manner.
See it’s right there. In between driving and not saying racist things. Grandmothers are not awesome at smuggling drugs. Maybe if Grandma Sandiford watched a little less Wheel of Fortune and a little more Locked Up Abroad she wouldn’t be facing Old Sparky.
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