Everyone knows water is good for us, but how can we expect our cells to absorb liquid which is poorly organized? We should all be drinking — and showering in, and watering our lawns with — structured water, which contains no right angles and, among other things, has properties that neutralize the negative impact of electromagnetic fields. At least, that is what The Wellness Enterprise (along with other sellers of water restructuring devices) wants you to believe.
The Wellness Enterprise says that if you merely pour your water through their special, proprietary plastic tube, it will swirl around like a child in play and become structured, providing your water with properties such as the ability to rid water of bacteria. (More careful readers may think that water with the property of removing bacteria from water seems too redundant to be true.)
“Einstein understood it. So did Tesla,” says The Wellness Enterprise FAQ. What they seem to have understood is that the One Unified Field theory and quantum physics say that everything is energy, which means all toxins are vibrations. Also, the universe is holographic; there is no escaping holographic reality. That may seem like a non-sequitur but I bet Tesla and Einstein see where it came from. We are also energy, so we are One with the toxins, although apparently it helps you see and accept the discordant vibrations of the toxins if you remembered to manifest your GodSelf this morning.
You might wonder why we can’t just filter the toxins out with the Brita pitcher. The Wellness Enterprise explains that physical filters remove only physical toxins, leaving behind toxic vibrations and energies in your water. It takes a Structuring Device to line up the vibrations properly. To show how this works, The Wellness Enterprise provides a YouTube video of two tuning forks and a drawing of the molecular structures of diamond and coal.
It seems that each special, proprietary, plastic tube contains “Sacred Geometric patterns” which “are the universal code of Creation.” The FAQ explains it way better than I could:
The devices are a flow form, or shape, which allow water to revitalise itself with the energy of Creation by interacting with Sacred Geometry and a double vortex spin.
Sacred Geometry is the fingerprint of Creation. It is a vibrational vehicle that carries specific ratios that reveal the precise way the energy of Creation organises itself. Sacred Geometry opens the heart to conscious evolution through mathematical models.
As the water flows through both the hexagonal embossing and through the icosahedral angles, it shifts its resonance to Sacred Geometry and flows in resonance with Creation itself and the symmetry of the Cosmos.
That Sacred Geometry resonance now impressed within the water is then enhanced (exponentiated) by the double vortex flow of the water as it exits the device.
Now the tuning forks make sense: resonance. If you didn’t quite understand, don’t worry. You’re no Einstein, but that’s nothing to be ashamed of.
All that code of Creation stuffed in each tube explains the prices: from $399 for the portable tube up to $1499 for the whole-house tube, or $2199 for the commercial-grade tube (though all are on sale for 25% off at the moment).
I know what you are thinking: $1500 for a plastic tube to structure my water? Don’t worry; it is food-safe plastic. (They’d make it out of something else but our economy has to evolve to support it first.) Plus, each tube comes with a free stainless steel water bottle. Totally worth it. If you are riddled with jealousy that someone else got this idea first, you can jump on the bandwagon as a Water Ambassador and shill these tubes to your social media friends for your own (unspecified) financial gain.
Remember, this is science; Tesla and Einstein don’t do woo-woo. The water restructurers aren’t magic. You are magic because we are all one – excuse me, One – and unified field theory says you just need to properly align yourself and structure your water, and then even toxins will be safe for you. Maybe. If your water has “Biologics” like viruses, pathogens, and bacteria in it, you should ask your own higher guidance whether it is safe to drink, because some people can handle them and some can’t, but just FYI, chlorine eliminates Biologics – and “chlorine is neutralised by structuring so it is not harmful to you”, so I suppose you could just drink that, as long as you pour it through a double-spin vortex and the code of Creation first, stirring well with your tuning fork. Just like Einstein.