The season of pumpkin spice and Halloween is upon us, folks. What else does that translate to? The return of FX’s mega-hit, American Horror Story. This season is all about a Hotel theme (not, thankfully, based upon the ridiculous 1980s TV show) and I can safely assume that the entire plugged-in, social media engulfed world watched the show last night. As we get underway with this season, let’s remember the best, most twisted AHS characters from Murder House, Asylum, Coven and Freak Show.
- Tate (Evan Peters, Murder House)
Tate might as well be considered “America’s Favorite Psycho Sweetheart.” The season reveals that Tate was behind a mass shooting in his high school, similar to that of Columbine, and was then killed by a SWAT team after being shot 17 times. Ouch. While he kills or harms someone in what seems like every episode, you have to feel a pang of sympathy for him: his relationship with Violet makes it really hard to hate him. And when the final episode reveals that he’ll wait forever for her? You can’t even deny that your heart breaks, at least a little.
- Dr. Arthur Arden (James Cromwell, Asylum)
Maybe I’m a little biased in saying that he’s the most horrifying AHS character (I don’t exactly perk up at the thought of seeing a doctor), but this former Nazi war criminal really is terrifying. The reason? He appears to be a normal, well-to-do medical doctor until you realize that he is actually experimenting on his patients. The result of his experiments turn former patients into “reapers,” or zombie-like things, which he feeds raw meat to.
- Delphine LaLaurie (Kathy Bates, Coven)
What’s so crazy about little-old Delphine LaLaurie? Well, she’s not a fictional character and, in fact, was a Louisiana-born socialite who enjoyed torturing her slaves. The first scene with LaLaurie, which was the season opener, shows her coating her face with blood, followed by a visit to her attic in which she keeps all her hobbies, AKA tortured and disfigured slaves. At one point, when her and Queenie sort of reconcile, you think that perhaps she’s changed her ways. Throughout the season, however, you realize that you were definitely wrong.
- Dandy (Finn Wittrock, Freak Show)
Dandy, you were not quite so Dandy. Among stunts that include murdering his maid and mother, and then consequently bathing in said mother’s blood, Dandy was clearly never watching TV when “In the Arms of an Angel” came on – in his free time, he enjoyed abusing and killing animals. What can I say, folks? He’s the product of inbreeding, a modern-ish version of Joffrey Baratheon, whose friends include Twisty the Clown and well… no one else. Understandably.