Water. Why are we making such a big deal out of it? I mean, really, who needs it? Our bodies are only made up of about 60 percent water. That’s barely over half. It’s not like we couldn’t just replace it with beer. What’s that? Beer is made from…oh crap.
Okay. So we need this water thing. I still don’t see what the big deal is. I don’t understand why we’re so worried about having enough water to drink and shower and wash dishes and such. It’s all around us. It falls from the sky. It just sits there rolling back and forth in Great Lakes and flowing down the Colorado. Heck, the earth itself is 70 percent water. What’s wrong with keeping a good green sheen on your grass?
So only 2.5 percent of the earth’s water is potable and about two thirds of that is locked in deep reservoirs and polar ice caps? No biggie. Break out the tanker ships and a big drill. You say that is extremely cost prohibitive to highly improbable? Aren’t you a ray of sunshine. And I can’t just drink water from the lake or wash my car with ocean water? Oh, right. Salty. Sure, but we can filter that out. Desalination costs a lot of money and can leave behind corrosive salt deposits if not handled properly? Dammit!!
Still, one percent is a lot of water, at least if you imagine the vastness of the ocean. One percent of that has to go a pretty long way. We’ve got all these amazing shallow reservoirs all across the planet—why there are several near where I live in central Texas. When the drought starts to get bad, surely we can tap into these beauties and sip on some fresh, cool ground water. Severe droughts and rapidly expanding urban areas are using water at a rate faster than these reservoirs can sustain—and they’re mostly unrenewable? Shit. Shit.
That’s not good at all. And areas with high population growth and arid climates like this could run out of water within 10-20 years. I don’t like the sound of that. What exactly happens when we run out of water? Will it be like Waterworld? God I hope not. I’m still trying to purge my mind of Kevin Costner drinking his own purified urine. So the world’s about to run out of water? It’s not? Okay, I’ll stop working on my “Mad Max” car for now. But we’re on a risky course. There must be a way to turn this around.
So when I see my neighbor outside watering his Kentucky bluegrass in the middle of August, I should punch him in the face for wasting vital resources. Well, I guess I could simply suggest that he waters his plants at night and only when absolutely necessary. He might even be up for xeriscaping his lawn. I mean, he’s got a giant Lone Star flag over his porch and ringed stars chiseled into his brickwork. He could really show his state pride by planting local and regional plants and landscaping with limestone.
Alright, so maybe there’s a little more to this water thing than I thought. Actually, there’s a lot more to it than I ever realized. It’s kind of overwhelming. Once the well runs dry, we’re all going to be in a bad way. Especially those of us in states like Texas, Arizona, Nevada, and California. I’d love to do something to curb my water usage, but I don’t know where to begin.
Well, yeah. Small would be better. Because I sure as hell can’t imagine forcing a massive corporation to start using more recycled gray water for industrial purposes or convincing a major farm conglomerate to use more efficient irrigation techniques. I can’t boycott everything, but I guess I could support companies that encourage sustainable water use, water recycling, and grow crops responsibly.
Small steps, right. One thing’s for sure, I’m going to tell my sister not to take two freaking showers every day. Nobody needs to be that clean.
[Post image via Shutterstock]