Why I Deleted My Facebook Account

Law Firm 10 Columns, Law Firm 10, Lawyer 142 Comments

Two weeks ago today, I did something that I thought was fairly non-controversial (I was wrong, apparently). I deactivated my Facebook account. And not just the half-hearted deactivation option Facebook offers, whereby your account remains saved and can be reactivated at any time—I actually completely deleted my account.

Here’s the really crazy part: I’ve spent the last 14 days fielding hundreds of emails from family, friends, and periphery ranging from mere curiosity to utter disbelief that I’m no longer on Facebook. No one can understand why I would ever want to disconnect myself from the (unfortunately) ubiquitous social network. Well, here’s why.

I spend roughly 13 hours a day staring at flat, glowing screens, toiling away in the limbo of cyberspace. And my evenings (sadly) often center around staring at TV screens. So with the precious little free time that I have, I want to actually experience things in real space—in the flesh and blood, three-dimensional world. If I feel the need to discuss an event or something of interest, I prefer to do so by engaging in private conversations with significant people I legitimately care about.

Both of these inclinations are antithetical to the behaviors that Facebook reinforces. One of the things that creeps me out the most about the core Facebook demographic—I call them “Screen People”—is that their entire joie de vivre seems centered around documenting their moments on Facebook’s screens. The Screen People derive their real pleasure from assembling a two-dimensional record of the (often insignificant) day-to-day minutiae of their lives.

Everyone’s always complaining about reality TV and Paris Hilton and Keeping up with the Kardashians with some variation of, “Nowadays, people are famous for absolutely nothing.” That same principle is what grosses me out about Facebook—it’s like the Screen People want their turn to be reality stars, and Facebook has granted their wish by providing them with a screen and audience for their very own reality shows. It reminds me of Mike Teavee in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory—the kid who loved TV so much that he volunteered to be transmitted through the airwaves into a little tiny TV set. The Screen People love to focus their attention on screens so much that they voluntarily shrink their lives down into little scripted chunks on the Facebook screen. Cue the Oompa Loompas!

In truth, I am also profoundly, vicariously embarrassed by the oversharing that the Screen People constantly engage in. I do not care that you made yummy Tuscan vegetable soup for dinner, and I definitely don’t need to see a picture of it. I don’t feel any real sympathy about the fact that you have a cold. And I’m guessing that the cute picture of your baby doing a silly thing that you just mobile-uploaded would’ve been a lot more meaningful if you weren’t distracted by the Facebook posting ritual in the wake of the moment.

What makes it even worse is that it’s a phenomenon that feeds off itself and isn’t limited to the screen. Think about the last time you went out in public. Chances are you were involved in a conversation about what someone posted on Facebook, and/or that you posed in a picture that was immediately uploaded to Facebook. This is the big triumph of the Screen People—they’ve successfully reduced life to little more than posts and status updates and mobile uploads and tagging and likes, and now they’re cheapening actual in-person interactions by redirecting the focus back to the screens, even when we’re not sitting in front of the screens (but we are carrying them in our pockets and purses, now that phones are really just tiny iPads).

Hopefully I’m not the only one who feels this way. I would love to find out that there are at least a few other people who prefer living life to living life for the sake of capturing it on a tiny screen. But judging from the disapproval to which I’ve been subjected ever since stepping off the grid two weeks ago, it’s safe to say that I’m in some sort of Luddite minority when it comes to disconnecting.

(Photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/boltron/4461019149)

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  • Michelle Beth

    Most lawyers I know–at least the ones over 40–are not into Facebook or even on it. This is a sign of LF10’s maturity.

  • Xanthippas

    I think you had the wrong friends. I wouldn’t say that most people on FB are “Screen People.” For my part, I find FB a great way to keep up with people who are really important to me, but who I don’t have much opportunity to spend time with (whether they’re family, close friends, or acquaintances whose company I enjoy.) I rarely see anything posted that I completely do not care about, because it’s from someone whose experiences I value having some knowledge of.

    • jakki musgrave

      Oh, c’mon. We all have acquaintances we could care less about, and Facebook is becoming a haven for narcissistic people to reflect on their egos, and post their b.s. that has no bearing on our lives. The author is right.

      • Michael

        How could you object to someone’s simple appreciation for staying connected. That’s ridiculous. The whole point of this type of web development is that the author provides a tool with a space and you fill it up, you create the purpose, the content and the meaning if any that it has. Facebook is simple a linking system like the web itself that connects you to people you kow. You can delete them or keep them so what you are talking about is having found an issue with who YOU are. What you do with a content delivery space is all about who you are. It seems to me that Facebook is most troublesome for people who prefer to maintain disingenuous relationships with people in their lives. Facebook holds a mirror up to this type of relationship by testing the depth of your relationships.

        • Tiffany

          I understand that facebook can be a tool to a certain extent. But I think what the author is trying to say is that people rather spend time im front of a srcreen like zombies reading peoples statuses and what not rather than interacting with real living human beings experiencing real things and meaningful realtionships! We are not robots, and we shouldn’t be communicating and interacting like we are! People will say they have “x” number of friends…. How many would they really actually speak to? How many they would go up to and say hi if they saw them downtown? I have deleted facebook and i inted to call, email, text the people i really want to keep a meaningful relationship with because to me, doing so on facebook seem so impersonal and unmeaningful.

        • Bryan

          You are clearly one of the afore mentioned screen people

          • Brando

            The statuses people post on facebook more than 90% of the time are meaningless, for example “the wheather is nice today”, well, no kidding! People abuse Facebook on a regular basis for narcissistic reasons. While there are people using facebook to stay connected there are people taking hundreds of selfies, posting thousands of comments that have no purpose, people spending far too much time playing games such as ‘farm vill’. Facebook had potential to be something more positive, unfortunately it’s not just that but a whole lot of bad.

    • Joey

      To me this is completely unnatural. We all have people who come in and out of our lives for varying lengths of time, but now because of Facebook we feel like we should stay in contact with everyone forever, and this causes anxiety.

      I believe that if you truly think someone is “really important”, you’ll call or make the effort to see them in person.

      • Lou

        I agree with Joey. I have just deactivated facebook (and currently waiting the 14days for it to be deleted forever …apparantly).

        The reasons I deactivated was for a combination of reasons that people have already mentioned, to be more productive and get out there and experience life in 3D, HD and real time and to remove the meaningless people who I don’t really speak to and haven’t spoken to for many years, I call these people ‘the cling-on people’.
        Also I used to compare my ‘behind the scenes’ life with everyone else’s “perfectly edited” documented life.

        The people who actually mean something to you, you’re going to speak to and see anyway so what’s the point, really? I went through my friends list and gave a selection of people my email address so if they ever did want to make the effort and contact me, then they can do.

      • Bonni

        I totally agree.. I had a best friend when I was a child that I Lost contact with when I was about ten. Twenty years later we find each other on facebook…. It was strange. We had nothing to say to each other really.. I deleted her after having her on there a few weeks. I was both upset and sorry that I disrupted such a beautiful memory with the easy click of the “add friend” button.

      • Kerri

        I agree.

  • Paul

    Luckily this has a facebook share button so I can share this post with all my “friends”

    • Kisha


    • jakki musgrave

      I did the same!

  • Elizabeth

    Nope, it’s not just you. I have never understood any of that, or felt whatever addictive thrill it is that other people seem to get from the whole “social media” thing. I very reluctantly joined Facebook a year or so ago pretty much for the sole purpose of getting to see my high school boyfriend’s daughter’s baby pics. I do not personally feel the need to post my kids’ pictures, mostly because it creeps me out. Yeah, I know there’s some kind of way to limit access. I’m not interested enough in it to take the time to figure out how. If I care that much about you, I’ll email them, often along with an actual message specifically addressed to YOU, not all of mankind. If you’re not one of those few people, I’m not presumptuous enough to think you’d WANT to see photos of my kid, or my cat, or the strange thing growing out of my neoghbor’s batbroom floor, or my leftover pizza, or hear how my afternoon sucked, or that I just found the most awesome vegetarian tamales EVER. Why would you be interested in the minutiae of my boring life? If you are, either you need help (and sorry, I’m not the kind of counselor you need–keep looking!), you’re some sicko stalker and I’m the one who needs help, or you just…need to get a life (no, not mine! Find your own!).

    I’d really like to think that there’s some legitimate business purpose to Facebook. Other people certainly seem to think so, so I’ve pretended that I agree with that and have “friended” (WTH? That word is not a verb!!!) maybe 40 or 50 attorneys and other people I know tbrough work. I guess I’m still waiting for that magic moment when it all makes sense. If I’m thinking about it, I look at the list of updates from my pseudo-friends every week or so. Okay, more realistically, usually once a month. Unfortunately, the only real effect it’s had on me so far is that I now almost hate several people that I used to kind of vaguely like, having now found out against my will that they’re not really other middle-aged attorneys like me, they’re actually shallow. vapid, self-absorbed little high school biyotches just dressed up to LOOK like lawyers. Some of them seriously seem almost mentally ill. And I’ve never even tried Twitter, which I “get” even less. I wonder sometimes if this is what it feels like to grow up gay–constantly feeling like everyone else is in on some big thing that you’ll just never be a part of. Admittedly you’re not a part of it because you don’t WANT to be a part of it, but still, it sucks sometimes. I should be used to it by now, because long before this, I became That Freak Who Doesn’t Watch TV. Again, not for any knd of moral, ethical, intellectual, or fashion statementy kind of reason, pretty much just because it stopped interesting me at some point around when American Idol came along. Now, it strikes me as being downright trashy in a “DUDE!!! Let’s stop and check out that rollover–is that chick smeared across the pavement really DEAD?!” kind of a way.

    • http://GrowMap.com Gail Gardner

      Your comment points out something I find social media very useful for: determining whose priorities and ethical standards make them worth knowing and who is totally clueless about what is appropriate in what was once known as “polite” company.

      Twitter is useful for contacting someone who has answers or connections who is normally difficult to reach because they have gatekeepers or have kept their contact information private and you don’t have it. We can leave a short message about why we want their attention which they can reply to at the time that is most convenient for them – and then we can agree to connect or not. (This isn’t optimum as Twitter is censoring now; however, it still works most of the time.)

      The purpose of major social networks like Facebook, Twitter and Google+ is similar to television, movies, and partying: to keep the clueless constantly entertained so they don’t object to what is going on in the “real” world.

      That does NOT mean we have to play their game or do what THEY want. We use these platforms to accomplish specific goals such as supporting ethical small businesses, worthy causes, and creating a better world. They don’t like it, but so far their efforts to shut us down have been ineffective as we find workarounds.

      It IS possible to have real relationships that matter with people you never meet in person – just as most people have shallow, meaningless relationships in real life. I do it all the time because I do not know any other people like me who live anywhere near where I currently am. The few others are all over the world so we interact online and very rarely ever in person.

      I do not have television service, but I can play DVDs to an old TV that does not get a live signal. My PC is a desktop and it does NOT have a camera because I have no interest in being seen at all hours of the day and night. I do NOT have a “smart” phone – by choice. The only microphone can be unplugged and has an on/off button because I like my privacy – and few see how little of that is left to us as they rush to volunteer to be tracked, controlled and chipped – and even pay for that “privilege”.

      Enjoy the Internet as we know it because between SOPA and Internet Neutrality and growing censorship of search engines and social networks who knows how long we will have freedom of choice to see what we want to see.

  • Evil Lawyer

    LF10 continues to mystify and amuse: Gobsmacked by a transitory brush with “life” (a party on the south side that would not match the food at Chuck E Cheese or Ricky Martin’s cheap champagne), she’s severed ties to –people who share photos of their kids and Bean soup.

    Bent on on experiencing real life, she says. Or unmarried, childless, and maybe with so much weight from cheap party food that she’s effectively without a thing to post?

    So she’s sucked enough gratuitious life from them but now feels embarrassed to be there? Like a graduated senior who returns to campus to realize they’re out of place?

    That happens a lot to people in their 30’s: they just realize they have nothing to say to parents, or people enamored of their soup and drop out.

    Good for her: Facebook is for kids: get away from the cheap parties, back to a gym and back onto Facebook as a mid 30’s hottie.

  • The Pink Hulk

    What better way to notify the world that you’ve decided to step off the grid than updating your blog?

    • Joey

      Blogging is a platform for organised thought and social commentary. Facebook is for letting everyone know how funny you think Jersey Shore is tonight, or uploading photos you’ve taken of yourself in the mirror.

  • Smokin

    “I wonder sometimes if this is what it feels like to grow up gay–constantly feeling like everyone else is in on some big thing that you’ll just never be a part of. ”

    Wow. Perhaps it was unintentional, but I can’t even begin to describe to you the offensiveness of that statement. That’s not what it’s like to grow up gay. It’s different for everyone, and every time, but things like terror, desperation, and depression far outweigh any pining for the straight life that will never be. I think it’s spectacularly self-involved to think that any gay man or woman spends a terrible amount of time feeling like they’ve missed out on some big part of life because they’re not heterosexual.

    As far as Facebook is concerned…good. Keep your account deleted. I can’t imagine you were much fun on Facebook anyway. And I say that as a mature, successful professional in his mid-30s, who obviously has managed to suck more joy out of life than you. Cheers!

    • jakki musgrave

      Why is everyone so quick to be offended by everything these days? I thought everyone had grown a pair of balls by now, gay or not. Why can’t we make off-color remarks without walking on eggshells? It obviously wasn’t directed at you personally. Every time I turn around, someone else is “butt hurt” about something else…(no pun intended, so don’t be offended) Grow some skin people.

      • J

        [[[[Why is everyone so quick to be offended by everything these days? I thought everyone had grown a pair of balls by now, gay or not. Why can’t we make off-color remarks without walking on eggshells? It obviously wasn’t directed at you personally. Every time I turn around, someone else is “butt hurt” about something else…(no pun intended, so don’t be offended) Grow some skin people.]]]]]

        Since when did anyone ever grow a pair of balls? Grown men start wars, people kill eachother over being butthurt over probably something very petty. When it comes down to it every single person has a very personal issue that hurts when mocked whether its directed to them or not it still pushes that button. Things you make fun of may seem petty to you but remember that when someone pokes at something that you have had an issue with, im sure you wont be laughing.

  • Rance Stoddard

    @OP: I agree with everything you said. It sickens me to see how much time some people spend on Facebook, and how much some overshare. I don’t think people realize the harmful social effect it is creating.

  • Guano Dubango

    I agree with everything LF10 has to say here. I never was interested in Facebook, other than the movie that is. I am much like the Winklevoss Twins, having been exiled by my Aunt Ooona and told not to return without a suitable law bride.

    So the only thing people will miss about LF10 not being on Facebook is no longer seeing her face. I would have liked to see if she was pretty, but that would have required me signing up. I am not sure if that would have been worth it, but as of now, it is a “mute point”.

  • Handsome Advocat

    I just posted this link to my FB page.

  • http://www.sjfpc.com Steven J Fromm

    You should be applauded. This stuff is just so out of hand. The term “get a life” really rings true. My wife refuses to join Facebook for mainly the reasons you state. And I am a reluctant and passive member. I really have not engaged in it except to send birthday greetings. None of my personal stuff is discussed, but I have not pulled the plug based upon some fanciful notion that it may be good for business. The latter idea is probably a bunch of hogwash. Anyway when I get up the nerve maybe I will be brave like you and pull the plug on this drag upon being a human. Thanks for your insight braveheart!

    • Cat

      “This drag upon being human.” I love that. I just deactivated my page as well today . I had been thinking of it for the last two weeks and then some ex-friend of mine who has borderline personality disorder and narcissism found some way to hack into my account accidentally through some mobile app and posted a link to it on her page. I was horrified and that was it for me. I felt myself becoming too engaged in it all and it caused me a lot of social anxiety as really I am an introvert. I’m also an artist and I thought I woudl use it to promote what I do, but it never worked out that way and the people on my friend’s list are mostly burners and other ravers and friends of asshole ex-boyfriends and I’m on a yogic path now and it’s not proper for me to defile my mind with all that now. If I’m going to be a real artist. I need the time to do art, not look at everyone else’s.

  • Edward

    I think the author quit the wrong bit of technology; shoulda quit the TV.

    At it’s core, Facebook (and also Twitter) are forms of communication. (TV is a one-way form of communication.) What is communicated on Facebook is nothing different than what is discussed at the dinner table, the water cooler, or the bars.

    I imagine the author does not care for small talk or like reading links to articles on Facebook (a link which brought me here).

    Her article reminds me of the silly pie versus cake articles in Salon. (BTW, I prefer pie!)

  • Thomas

    I agree with you and applaud your stance. I have an account but am barely on it because it has become such a time consuming chore (yes) to database my life or anyone else’s. Also, your analogy to reality shows is spot on. Did not see the connection but now I do. Your candor is much appreciated.

  • Josh

    If FB is so insignificant and such a waste of time (which I agree with), why not quietly delete your account without making an announcement and writing an article about it. Silly. I’m 100% sure that your friends/family were wondering why you left FB because like most people who decide to leave FB, you announced it, which is yet another way of trying to get attention…exactly what you’re preaching against. Unless announced, most deleted accounts go unnoticed. What’s the point of being off the grid if you’re gonna talk about it?

    • Steve

      The idea is that he doesn’t have to individually explain to all the people asking why he deleted it. One post and he can now point people here for the reason why.

      I deleted mine about 6 weeks ago and so far exactly 1 of my 140 FB friends has noticed. The ones I communicate regularly keep sending me emails the way they always did and I don’t feel any less connected to them. Just proved to me what a waste of my time it was to have.

  • Tim

    You’re a joke.

  • amirhailmi

    the moment i wrote this comment, i just deleted my fb account few hours back. actually i just made my fb account 1 and half months ago n i feel i’ve turn to a different person n i hate it. everyday, the first thing i think about when i woke up is, ”is there any notification on my fb?” and i keep staring at this flat screen. i lose focus in study and i feel very bad.
    i have few good points that, telling everyone on your wall about your current status making your life no more special. and, actually making friend thru fb made the meaning of friendship valueless. Before, we will feel so excited when we met somebody who is staying far away or away from us for along time but fb has destroy all of this feeling.
    FB actually ruin the relationship, (i mean the true meaning of a relationship)
    Stop all the fake ”friends”. Be a real human!

  • slc

    My 17 yr. old son just deactivated his account permanently. He feels there are too many attention whores and braggerts on their. I agree. We live in a shallow culture.

  • Mel

    I agree with a lot that has been said in favor of not having Facebook. I have deactivated my account several times, sometimes for months at a time. I am pondering the final deletion, but am collecting email addresses first. I have already started emailing my friends and family with important news (no, I didn’t announce my engagement and pregnancy on the internet…gasp!) and it’s working out quite nicely.

    I think the internet is as good as it is bad. I agree that technology has helped advanced our culture as a whole. However, I also notice a distinct trend of children with more and more luxuries and fewer responsibilities. I see that many children are emotionally stunted and irresponsible because they don’t have to work hard to get the things they have. They are entitled, lazy, and often helpless. Want to help a child? Don’t give them Facebook. Give them a field guide and teach them about our physical world, not our creations and means of escaping reality (i.e. entertainment). Real life is entertaining enough. Try it.

    Facebook isn’t a solution to some problem we used to have. It’s not like people can’t stay in touch in other ways. I think of it as a Band-Aid for some part of a person’s psyche that is left unfulfilled otherwise. I don’t need anyone’s approval or for them to notice me. I enjoy moments as they come and don’t feel the need to share them with everyone. I try to communicate with people directly. This is why Facebook has little to no room in my life anymore. It simply doesn’t serve me much of a purpose except as a means of wasting time.

  • Anon 1

    Facebook clean since 10/11/11

  • MaxwFell Peck

    Where is the little “share this article on facebook button?” I feel so lost . . .

  • Joey

    Thankyou for writing this blog post, it sums up everything I’ve been thinking over the past few months. I deleted (not deactivated) my account yesterday, after posting a status letting everybody know how they could contact me if they want to stay in touch. I figure that the people who really care about spending time with me will make the effort, rather than a half-hearted “We should catch up soon babe miss you xxxx” on my wall.

    What I found hilarious was that when I said I was deleting Facebook everyone responded with either scorn and disbelief (“Lol yeah sure! u’ll b back!”) or people feeling confronted, as if they genuinely could not fathom the concept. Which was good, as it reinforced why I was deleting it in the first place. Why would I want to be a part of a website (and that’s all it is) which causes so much dependency and social anxiety? It’s all about self-promotion, especially with the Check-in feature – I want everyone to know that I go out and I’m going to tag people so people know I have friends!

    And what will I do when I’m out to dinner with my friends and no one is talking because they’re all looking down at their iPhones? I don’t know, but at least my life won’t be reduced to a four-inch screen.

    • George Katkowski

      Very well said Joey, loved your comments about scorn at deciding to leave FB and ‘life post-FB.’ Good luck to you.

      The thing that really did it for me was when i learned an estimated 50% of the UK adult population had a FB account. While by no means an aggressive person I felt I identified more with the wolf than the sheep on this one.

  • George Katkowski

    Why I deleted my FB account
    Uninspiring and uninteresting posts, FB tends to draw people to a lowest common denominator with superficiality and banality often the norm. I noticed interesting or inspiring articles often went without comment while trivial ones would get a lot of attention.
    Many posters appear not to engage brain before posting.
    Mundane content, why should I care if a ‘friend’ is on a bus or in a coffee shop or has only two hours to go until they finish work?
    The FB business agenda is about gathering your data to sell, it is not really about FB’s users.
    FB is insidious and intrusive and I have concerns about both privacy and security. There is a risk of being lured by scams or invited into questionable games.
    Ultimately the fear that if I make a mistake I will lose control of my computer or of my finances.
    In my opinion Mark Zuckerberg appears not to be the sort of person I would either like or trust.
    FB language is irritating, I did not have 48 ‘friends’ any more than some people have several hundred or even thousand. ‘Like’ is also used in a limited sense, if I want to signal I agree or approve of a comment about a fatal road accident does that mean I should ‘like’ it? And as for ‘poke’ – how annoying!
    The layout, colours etc. are about as boring as Mark Zuckerberg’s grey hoodie.
    The comments look undifferentiated unless people have chosen to place an eye-catching picture. In a room full of friends and acquaintances I will probably be mutually drawn to those I am closer to, they will look bigger or brighter or more attractive in the room. On FB everything looks the same and it is in two dimensions.
    It is far harder to permanently delete your account than to start one up and FB will hold onto some data ‘for technical reasons.’
    I instinctively distrust anything this big and powerful. FB is an enormous company and as such is unlikely to be democratic or transparent and will place it’s own interests uppermost.

  • Bruce F

    Agreed on all counts. My Facebook account is deactivated as of today and I don’t miss it for all the reasons you spelled out and many more besides. I’m glad I’m not alone in thinking this way.

    • George Katkowski

      You are by no means alone Bruce F. There are numerous sites like this and I hope the FB novelty eventually wears off for people.

      My motto has become “share your personality and intelligence with your friends and the world, or post on Facebook. It’s free choice and always will be (like this comment).”

  • dee

    I completely agree with everything you stated. I also deleted my account a few days ago. I was one who had hundreds of “friends”are and realized how stupid it is. I agree with you on the real life interaction. 10 years ago we didn’t have this crap and civilization managed to survive. I am 30 years and have been through the myspace era as well and people would say at this point that’s it is true social suicide, but it isn’t. It’s just cyber suicide and who the hell cares? It’s the internet and not reality.

  • George Katkowski

    dee it is certainly not any kind of suicide. I was not on FB for very long but since deleting I have had many more actual old-fashioned conversations with people who are friends in the real sense. I found FB encouraged a very bizarre form of interaction. While I did see some great posts it was all the dross you have to wade through to get to them. Here are a few of the FB regulars I spotted:
    ‘My life is shit and I want your sympathy’ (sorry to hear that but shouldn’t you talk to a couple of real friends, not all 967 of us?)
    ‘My life is great, look at the 200 pictures of me drunk last night’ (yes, you look like an idiot)
    ‘My sex life is great’ (yuk, too much information)
    ‘I’ve just fallen out with my partner/mother/kids/boss (let the dust settle then discuss things with them, be prepared to listen at least as much as you talk)
    ‘I’m sitting on a bus’ (Well I’m sitting on the toilet, thought you all needed to know that)
    ‘Look at this great Youtube video, shows how cool I am to find this’ (zzzzzzzzzzz!)
    ‘Wanna play this amazing game’ (No thanks)
    ‘Stoppit or I’ll unfriend you’ (shall I just cut my throat now to save you the trouble)

  • missy

    Just deleted my FB account and doing so has given me a sense of freedom. Agree with everything you said. Thanks for sharing.

  • Sam

    I’ve been on/off facebook since it began. Facebook is amoral. People who use it to connect positively with other people get a gold star. The people who like to start rumors and keep other friendships from developing are what’s wrong with facebook. It’s really only good for people who already have awesome friends. I thought I could use it as a way to broaden my horizons and meet interesting people without spending gobs of money at the bars or events. It has that advantage but it basically invites strangers into your home and possibly your heart. These people can be so viscious and turn on you very quickly just because of what someone else says about you. My latest attempt at facebook usage had very little information and photos about myself. I did this so that I could regain the natural process of trust. However, just because you are honest and have self-respect doesn’t mean that other people do. Basically, people will take something so good and turn into a weapon. All in the name of ENTERTAINMENT!

  • Sha

    I agree. I just deleted my account. I’m sick of the self serving, smug, self satisfied updates. They’re horrifying. Don’t even get me started on the embarrassing food photos by people with no culinary talent whatsoever. Look at the mushy dinner I just made! Jealous?! Take that bitches! It’s too much.
    I also agree with people not living in real time. I hate when I’m sitting across someone and they’re attached to their iphones. It’s ruining lives.

  • enma


  • pstrawberrie

    I would rather people know me and talk to me in person before they make up their minds about me based upon how I think I should present myself to appear the “coolest” I can. It is sad to admit this, but there is nothing closer to the truth. If you are happy with using facebook, I am happy for you. If you are unhappy with facebook and choose to live without it, I am also happy for you.

    For myself, I started to become stressed out about facebook because my girlfriend kept all of her pictures of her ex on her facebook. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake the idea that they were just lingering out there – it’s all I thought about when using facebook. It seems juvenile and immature, but that was what got me started on thinking about facebook. The only peoples’ pages I check are my girlfriend’s and maybe one or two of my close friends’, whom I talk to on the telephone regularly. The rest was empty space and stress.

    Cheers to you who have facebook and cheers to you who don’t. Either way we’re all doing the best we can =]

  • Brandy

    I loved this blog, and you have a great way of putting this situation into words.
    I deleted my facebook account about three months ago. I was tired of reading boring posts about how people transformed their boxed up lives into what they believed was an interesting day. So I would try to spice things up a bit in the end, by posting about the occupy movement, or politics or maybe even important news. Only to have stirred up the facebook community into calling me names and trying to find clever ways to call me stupid.
    I remebered that I once was a nurse, an artist, a philosopher, a mother and a wife. And I decided to be those things again.
    My well being is much more optimistic these days since I deleted my account.
    Thanks for sharing.

  • Tammy

    I call it “Fakebook”….. I deleted my account about two weeks ago and have no regrets. A lot of people I know are addicted to it. They can’t go anywhere or do anything without posting the details. It truly is a “reality show”. I mean they post pictures of what they’re buying, where they’re eating (what they’re eating), who they’re with and so on.

    When I go to parties or gatherings, I’m “on guard” because there are always people posting and tagging pictures of me without my consent. My 14 yr old son, who doesn’t have a fb account, ends up on fb because the parents of his friends post and tag school events. Why do people think they can just do that? I don’t get it.

  • Sleep

    I give mad respect to whoever wrote this…..i aint gone lie in my eyes Facebook was known for a bunch of guys trying to show off how much money there making like seriously nobody doesn’t want to see your whole entire bank account wrapped up in rubber band, nd for the females they was just thirsty for attention..like WTH in each album they would have photos ranging from 100-250 per album, they would change their main picture everyweek, and would just expose their whole body . Its funny how their pictures of they a** had more likes then pictures of their faces rofl. But besides all that I got tired of seeing had that everyday and to me I dont why, but me it became depressing….i caught myself worrying about what the hell everyone else was doing rather me going out making something happen for myself, and significantly it actually lowered my self esteem, and amazing I would loose sleep off this, always comparing myself to others and just always worried about wth others where doing .that’s one thing I couldnt understand like everyone on FB would complain about how they can’t sleep…well ummm maybe if they wasn’t logged in the b.s in the first place to post about it, im pretty sure sleeping wouldn’t be a problem…its been a few hrs since I deleted my account and im already feeling better, I feel as if I dont have to have someone’s approval to feel good about myself…im laying in my bed listening to my music, and im actually in a good mood not worrying how many likes my statuses have, or if anybody liked any of my pics,,…and im actually finding myself thinking about something more productive like rebuilding my car…rather then reading all pointless posts…like seriously who gives a 2 f**** if u just ate rice a roni and jelly?? Lmao . Yea i kno as u can c FB had a HUGE effect on me…i plan to meet new REAL friends, and continuing with my goals not worrying about all that unnecessary drama…Depressing to me .

  • Catherine

    *waves* You’re not alone, this facebook is a big waste of time and also creeps me out. Why live through a virtual reality when we have a real reality right in front of us. Most of my friends think I am crazy that I deactivated my account. I have met classmates who have asked for my “facebook” only to give me a strange look when I said I no longer had one. There is almost this question they want to ask about what I’m hiding… nothing! I swear! I have to admit, I had facebook since September of 2005, I was one of the first. It is VERY different compared to that day. I liked it when it was simple, and basic. Age, relationship status, wall and a photo. No games, no photos, no “likes”… I don’t feel secure anymore, it’s one big creepfest that is constantly changing it’s settings. I would periodically go through “friends” and delete ones. Not to mention tons in what I call limbo, these people want access to my “profile” which I did not care to but much effort in, where they think it is the present ME. People I haven’t talked to in years wanting to meet up for coffee, but it never goes anywhere, they ask more because they want to give the perception of having a social life. Get outside! Exercise! Hang out with those around you, make real friends…. There seriously needs to be more people that arent attached at the hip to facebook, I am yet to go out to a dinner with friends who don’t check their facebook or post photos from that night. Enjoy the moment in the moment, not later when you’re starring at a screen. Thank you for your vent, and letting me do mine!

  • michele bracken

    I lost over 50 lbs in 2002 and kept it off until 2009 when I started facebooking. I would hate to tally the hours wasted reading about people I don’t really care about. I gained all of my weight back because I was too busy staring at yge screen to work out. Iodide a hard delete a week ago and I feel liberated. Adios screen people.

  • Ellen

    If you have a fat tuches you should exercize alot. Fooey on men that tellus we are to fat. Fooey!

  • Doogle

    I feel this World is unaware of the majority of problems that lie right in front of their noses. Facebook is in my past. Keep on, keepin on.

  • Emily Horton

    YES! Deleted mine, too.

  • mlng

    I deactivated my account because I realized that I only keep in touch with a handful of my FB friends in real life. If I feel that I absolutely need to share any news or thought I could call/text or email my friend. There is no need for any of my information whether it’s good or bad to be shared on Facebook. Also, a crazy relative’s ex was stalking my entire family. I just got fed up with so called adults starting conversations like “Oh yeah I saw on Facebook that ….” Really?

  • Keith

    I don’t think people have caught on to the fact that the internet is the medium we are using to read what everyone else writes. Not only is everyone on facebook someone you know, when you close that screen on your browser you still have 80 other ways to contact each and every one of these people. It reveals an eggs all in one basket, one-trick pony that is also worth billions of dollars. That’s really scary. The reason it makes so much money is because it has all the data from people using it, so now it’s important. People have gotten themselves so sucked in to the extremely shallow and narrow exercise of “being on facebook”, they forget when they close that tab on their browser, they’re staring at even more contact with more online people. Do we all need to be in the same room? And does that room need to be worth so much, especially when it does nothing but rob you of information and sell it to the highest bidder?

  • Stephen

    Since my wife and I deactivated our account, we have been amazed at the conversations around our family Sunday lunch table. My father (age 76), mother (73), sister (46), and niece (13) shape the conversation with Facebook minutia. My father is a physician and my mother and sister have their Masters degree. Yet, conversation is often centered around the 13-year old’s gossip. It was absolutely not like this 3-4 years ago.

  • Dale

    I completely agree with you! I just deleted my account in the same way. It seems like the whole world at the moment is based around facebook and to be honest, it is quite scary!

  • J

    Wow this is so relevant to what i just did..Permanent deletion of my account upon having to see tagged photos of my girl’s wedding from her previous relationship just because the magic tag option just puts it on their profile essentially giving someone else the option of putting pics on someone elses profile…of course heir is the option to disable tag photos but that would just make people mad so thus causing a family feud over facebook…Family putting or keeping her wedding photos up, then retagging if deleted thus me and other having to see these photos..We have a child and I have to see this?
    then their is the fact that everyone since the iphone invention has to put EVERYTHING up..I’m at applebees with friends? I’m eating nachos watching houswives or something? How do you do anyhthing in life constantly staring into a screen, then when I leave a comment somewhere on a liked page I have to get trashed by ignorant people who just trash my comment that wasn’t even rude..I found out in this time how to dislike my own football team just because of of fans slamming me on a colts website because I liked my team? Hating a team over how many fans arent even fans or the mere fact that the team itself trys to sell their organization to non fans smacking the team… The president has a facebook page? Really? I had to spend a day tweaking privacy settings and adding this person or that to an acquaintance or a real friend or a close friend just so I can limit who sees what whilst I can’t even approve comments before they are made…People leaving ignorant stuff toward me and by the time I see it 30 people or more have already seen it…Another thing is look at their pages, How do you talk to or are friends with 400 people, I mean you cant actually closely be friends with 400 people so why are that many people your friends…The list goes on but since you asked I thought i would drop my line on this facebook thing, I’m going to read a really looong book and forget about facebook period, i also am going to walk away from any conversation that has to do with an internet blog..All it is, is a website listing what others are doing and for those to find information about your personal life..I miss landline phones when you had to be done with your day for anyone to even know what you did and they would have to find that out at your home

  • A Concerned Teen

    I recently turned 19 years old and I feel the exact same way you do about what Facebook has done to people and how it has changed their mentalities- and I have essentially felt this way for the past few years. I’ve been deactivating my account on and off again for the past year and a half but as of now, I have been off of Facebook for a little over 5 months. None of my friends seem to understand why I feel this way, which makes me feel like somewhat of an outcast among them, so I just decided to search “why I deactivated my Facebook” on Google and see where it led me. Not only does it make me sad that my generation seems to take everything as it is handed to them without questioning it, but it frightens me as well. I choose not to get an iPhone or any other device like it for similar reasons, since it seems as if conforming is the only way to be socially accepted in real life AND within the Internet community as well.

    With all of this being said, I have nothing against the idea behind social media. I think that if used correctly, it can be extremely beneficial in connecting communities across the world in a social context, as well as professional one. It is the mentality and the psychology behind Facebook and Twitter that has turned me off to the idea of participating since I too, have succumbed to the inevitable feelings of inadequacy and envy numerous times. I know that my semi-rant won’t change the face of social media by ANY means, but it is good to know that there are others out there who feel the same way I do. I just hope I can find another college student who has come to the same realization at some point!

    • JoeyL

      I’m a Mphil student, starting a phd soon, and I’m deleting my facebook in about 5 minutes from now. Hope it makes you feel better.

      I’ve been wanting to delete it for years, but I’ve also had an uncomfortable feeling of social isolation associated with it. A fellow student deleted hers last week—I’m joining the revolution!

      I agree with what most people here say; the most important people will call or text, and then you go do something fun together.

      Great article btw,; the comments are even better.

  • Karl

    Squawk Squawk Squawk

    I don’t have Facebook (or any other social networking) account. I committed web 2.0 suicide on this site the suicidemachine.org – I’m not a promoter don’t worry. In fact I think I was part of a mass suicide on Thursday, December 31st, 2009. Great day

    That said I disagree with most of what you said. I laughed because you still have a Facebook page for your business and of course that means you still have a Facebook Account! It really was too hard for you to get away I agree…

    Clearly you wrote this post to promote your blog and increase traffic.

    Oh the humanity!

  • Paul Nnaemeka

    I have three face book accout and i want to delite two accout, help me please.

  • Mom

    I agree with you 100%!! Sadly up until two weeks ago, I was one of those people. I feel so much relieve, not having a FB account! I spend more QUALITY time with my family, and feel that if someone needs something they can call. What happend to face to face conversations!!

  • Milan

    This is great article people. I also deleted my facebook account, because i think it is mainly for people who always need somebody else’s approval of their personality. And as you say that i keeps you with your relatives and friends, i can say it’s not true. You can have your real friends on your personal email, and believe you wouldn’t have more than 5 friends that you really care for. Everybody else that you have on facebook are fake friends, or people that you actually don’t care for. People get addicted on Facebook. Especially the one who always needs to get likes, comments and as i said approval of their “cool and unique” personality. The ones who are comfortable with their selfs, they don’t need facebook. And the worst thing of all, it is not safe, your privacy will be 100% revealed.
    And one more thing, i think Statuses on facebook are the worst thing ever.
    For example the things like – it is sunny today, i have eated this or that, i went running, i found a dollar – really you think somebody cares? if you can’t feel good for yourself because of yourself, if you need someones approval or disapproval, than you have more problems than you think. Than you have problems with yourself and your view on yourself. And Facebook won’t solve that problem.
    Delete FACEBOOK – and go Run, make friends, give somebody a real live compliment, in person. Make somebody smile with your words or deeds. Not over facebook. And i can bet, that half of you wouldn’t even know how to do that. It is easy to “like” somebody digitally, but it is a life that gave us opportunity to Like and Love somebody in person, in order to do that we need to get out and live a life. :)

  • cloey

    I’ve did the same thing!! It was the best decision I ever made!! People were shocked and kind of angry because they could no longer see pictures of all the places that I go on vacation to (I normally travel to a few new countries a year and take about a month off of work). Now that I have gotten rid of facebook I have a lot more stuff to say to all my friends and I speak to them more often because I cant see what they are doing. I now notice that when im out to dinner I am one of few who isnt always checking their phone and I usually have a better time when I am grabbing a drink, dinner, or going out at night because Im not concerned with where everybody is and can enjoy what im doing. A few people have even jumped on the “dump facebook” bandwagon because they have proof that not having facebook isnt the end of the world…

  • Aditya

    The day i decided to quit facebook. I went on to the deactivation page and funny as it sound..Facebook doesn’t want anybody to leave their site and the page shows that a few particular friends of mine are going to miss me.. That is when i actually realized that these people had very low or no real importance in my life and I don’t want a stupid site telling me as to who is going to miss me. People are so busy trying to improve their virtual identity that end up feeling empty and discontent in their real life . This made me delete my account and not just deactivate.. Thanks for sharing.. :)

  • Andriana

    I went one step further. Before I deleted my facebook account, I deleted each and everyone of my ‘friends’ from my friend list. And no, I didn’t even bother to tell anyone that I planned to delete my fb account.

  • Alan Larson

    The people at FB are clever making it rather hard to permanently delete a FB account. It takes a full two weeks for that to happen and the addictive nature of social networking usually gets someone to take a peak before that time is up. The fact is, if people could instantly delete their accounts FB value would crash, as would its stock. But thank you for this blog to clear up some priorities in my head.

    With FB, the users are the product for data collection. Its a huge bubble with allot of cash worth that really does not make money. But at some point, FB will need to make money and they will use that personal data any way they seem fit. I think this time, I will let this two weeks ride out and let my account finally die. I no longer want to be Mark Zuckerberg’s product. Because moving forward, I can see FB escalating their exploitation of their product—– their user base.

  • Ritanjali Dhal

    i want to delete my facebook account

  • David

    Thank you for a brilliant, bold post. It hits home for me, as my FB account has spent virtually all of its time deactivated over the past month. I will be deleting my account for reasons I will explain below:

    A little over a month ago I began going through a terrible, painful breakup with a lovely woman with whom I am still deeply in love. It was a triangulated relationship and the woman who broke up with me didn’t quite have enough patience to wait for me to end the first relationship, which I am in the process of doing now. I only mention this because, two days after the lovely woman broke my heart, she posted on her wall the familiar truism, “Never make someone your priority when you are their option.” Not only was this an untrue oversimplification of a painful situation, but suddenly our personal lives were out there on display for everyone to see and make snide comments about. It really stung, and even though I responded by simply posting a beautiful love song in the thread–reminding her FB friends that there were actual hearts and souls involved here–the initial truism and the comments following smacked of adolescent passive aggression. While I took the higher road, I still fell into the all too familiar FB trap of airing out my dirty laundry, which I’d previously avoided doing completely.

    But there was more: Upon hearing of the breakup, my sis reacted by defriending my ex, who then defriended me out of spite. Suddenly we were all in an adolescent chain reaction, made even worse when my ex started to make comments on her not-private wall about how wonderful her new Mr. Rebound Guy was.

    Yep, it’s adolescent behavior, all right, except for the fact that everyone involved here is in his or her fifties!

    Since then I’ve stayed away from the narcissistic carnage. I am a private person and was a very late arrival to FB anyway, joining it for professional reasons only. But even the act of putting up a simple artist’s page evidently comes with the same psychic land mines as the FB mainstream. The narcissism is always knocking at the door like an unwelcome guest.

    I will delete my account this week.

    • Sully

      David, good luck. FB seems like an extension of high school, like life sometimes. I keep my account to communicate with those I know, only because we are older now and in different parts of the world. Have made some of the same mistakes, and move on. Your former #2 isn’t worth your time

  • http://aberrantlyerrant.blogspot.com Nishin

    I just did this same thing, and much like you, I was bombarded with questions. You’ve summed up perfectly the reasons I was so tired of Facbeook. I also wrote a post on my blog, but unfortunately, it was worded much more… let’s say “colorfully” and I don’t think it helps to get the point across as well as yours does.
    What you said about people being the stars of their own reality show – that’s 100% correct!! I literally laughed out loud when I read that, mostly out of pity for those people, and for my own self in the past. I can’t explain how liberating it feels to not have a Facebook anymore. Thanks for the great read!


    i also left fb for the same reason….fb took my life away from me.

  • Lauren

    I completely agree with you! I deleted mine last week, and it was a great choice. And beyond the social part of it (that it creates superficially relationships with people that makes it increasingly difficult to actually connect to someone on a real level) but also, I started questioning the very idea of it. All it is is a place for mass corporations to collect information on us. Have you noticed how ads pop up based on things facebook knows about you, such as your age and interest? And I’ve never liked the way that everything is put together. The fact that your uncle died and your family is going through a tragedy almost seems to get mocked when it’s posted alongside with “LMS for a rate.” I go to high school and I have seen how it is definitely not helping teenagers like myself to see the real world and the whole picture. It also doesn’t help with social anxiety, something many of us are facing. Because when you go online and you see all of your “friends” who are available to chat, it’s like you’re all sitting in a room just not saying anything. It’s connected with modern culture and texting and the ability to never have to learn how to feel anything real because everything is downplayed so that who you are and what you think is compatible with technology. That is why I quit facebook. Also, I am the kind of person who wants to look for the best in people, to get to know them. Facebook almost defeats the purpose of getting to know anyone because all of their trivial thoughts are published publicly. I hope you all have a nice day, and can get away from your computers for awhile!

  • Ellie

    I have “given up facebook” for Lent for the past two years. I’m not religious whatsoever; it’s just that Lent and that wondrous season of law school finals crunch time (which most of my colleagues seem to use as “facebook with brief pauses for studying” time) normally seem to line up second semester at my school. What astounds me is reaction I get from my friends, family and colleagues. I’ve heard choruses of “I just don’t know how you can live without it!” and “Wow that’s social suicide!” However, my GPA gives me a big thank you…until Easter Sunday at least. I just deleted mine again until I sit for the bar this July… not to worry though, solitaire and sudoku puzzles have already filled that void. Good luck, stay strong!

  • Zizzy

    without facebook i wouldn’t have found this fantastic, witty site that i am so thoroughly enjoying perusing while i should be studying for my bar exam…. hehe.

    • Paul

      Well, I found this website via google: using the following search ‘delete facebook account’………

  • Cold Turkey

    I absolutely agree with your comments. The world is going crazy! I’ve just deleted my account because I realised I was being taken in by the craziness and it is an unhealthy addiction! Direct speech and discussion is quality interaction. Facebook is not. It is amazing that the very people who bemoan low grade newsprint and television actively engage in such banality.
    I cannot believe the messages you get when you try to close your Facebook account, it is all designed to fuel the addiction, utter madness!
    However, one has to ask why you still have a Facebook button at the top of your webpage?

  • Jakob from Sweden

    I couldn´t agree with you more. I deleted my Facebook account a couple of months ago and it has been the best thing I have ever done. Period.


  • SuzySomebody

    I understand wanting to keep in touch with people, especially people you went to school with that moved away. The ones you never get to see but…I don’t understand how anyone can have 998 friends, more or less, and really know then all. I think that Facebook has redefined the word friend and the new definition is very sad. Friend now is related to real friends, the people you can count on in a pinch, family which is important, and everyone else you’ve ever met or that your friends and family has every met. Some Facebook users seem to, and maybe I am just over generalizing, need to have the most friends. It seems to have become a contest of sorts for popularity only these are school mates, these are a collection of people that are just there mostly to bump up your friend numbers. This is so sad. Friendship used to be something special. A friend used to have your back, used to share your secrets and keep them, used to be someone you had meals with sometimes or go out to party with, but now friends are those people that said, hey friend me while in passing at work or someone Facebook offered up as “You may know these users.” I dropped Facebook over security concerns and a total lack of control over my own personal safety. I also dropped because when bad things happen on Facebook you can’t find a single human being to call for help. You can try to report things through their flawed system with buttons that don’t submit forms and to people that you never even get to speak to. If you finally do get your concern submitted, you get an email wanting more information. It seems like the stalkers that lurk on Facebook and get into private accounts, are safer than the users they stalk. I’m not sorry Facebook is gone. Not at all! I had a real conversation with someone I love today when on any other day I would have messaged her a stunted quick message and then I would have waited for her stunted quick message. It is good to experience reality! I feel so free!!!

  • Laurie

    You’re not the only one, John. I’ve just ‘terminated’ my Facebook account yesterday after being on it for 6 years. To begin, like you, I care little about other people’s minute details of their daily lives. And like you, I spend enough time in front of a PC during the day that I like to spend my leisure time in the real word. But the other issues, which you haven’t mentioned, is that Facebook policy on privacy seems to be ever-changing, and I’m sick of it. I like to keep my life private and don’t have time to wonder whether some day in the future I might have posted something I will regret, and it’s going to come back and bit me in the butt. And for those who think it’s because we’re ‘too old’, it’s more like we’re not gullible enough to sell ourselves for some company’s bottom line — like someone wrote once, we are the sausages of Facebook, a commodity to be sold to advertisers.

  • http://thatsangel.com/ Angel Navedo

    I deleted mine the other day (still waiting for the two-week process to finalize), but no one’s noticed yet. Forever alone?

    • Eva Garcia

      I am glad I came across this article because I deleted my profile just a day or two ago for the umpteenth time, and already I’m experiencing the typical “withdrawal symptoms” associated with social anxiety, not being connected to anyone I know, and of being left utterly and completely alone. I also deactivated my Twitter account. This goes without saying that I have given away my contact info to my close friends and family many times before finally deleting, so they’ll definitely know how to reach me if they really want to. There were also many long-distance friendships I made with people in India and the like that I just didn’t feel were healthy for me to maintain. I do have Instagram, Skype, and a few other social networking outlets. I think I’ve become a social networking addict and was feeling empty and anxious in real life. So, as a full-time college student who plans on performing well, I’ve finally decided that it’s time for a change. For everyone who is looking to quit Facebook, rejoin the real world, and live a socially healthier lifestyle: Take courage; you’re not alone!

  • Sergio Aguilar

    You are not the one who feels this way

  • http://twitter.com/DivyaFStein Divya Frankenstein

    i don’t have facebook, either. In addition to everything you’ve stated, I am convinced it is not for people over the age of 21. Even 21 is pushing it. People always post the most banal shit on there, too. I swear the participants of that thing are there to stalk and/or be stalked. that is all. good day to you.

  • Habibe

    As a FB user, I’d have to say I completely disagree. Yes I will post pics on FB of interesting foods or things or what I’m doing or who I’m hanging with, but it’s because a picture is worth a thousand words and the internet is extremely photo-oriented. It has the benefit of engaging my friends who I get to talk to about what I’m doing or something interesting they’ve done that I might have missed or that they might have neglected to share. It helps me keep in touch with them and encourages us to plan activities together. I’m an extrovert and documenting/organizing activities (and gaming) are FB’s purpose, to its user base. If you’re doing cool things, getting out there and meeting people and going to events, FB becomes your scrapbook with pictures and snippets of information you can flip through and share with others. If you’re not the kind of person who likes to share what you’re doing with your friends, then FB won’t seem useful to you, but to pretend that FB users are somehow doing LESS activities than they normally would, or they’re somehow vain or wasting their lives because they’re too busy facebooking is an out-of-touch mentality to hold that’s definitely perpetuated by the mainstream media too interested with hand-wringing and hype to bother understanding social networking. The internet, social media, and facebook have brought a lot of opportunity to peoples’ lives. Trying to trivialize it isn’t going to change that.

    • Paul

      And what would these oportunities be (let aside MZ’s and his underwriters’) ?

  • missloopy

    gosh, you are so superior to the rest of us with time management skills who are able to facebook to keep in touch with folks AND have a real people life.

  • Gary

    Congratulations on your return to the real world.

    Having seen first hand the impacts on vulnerable people of the nasty side of social media i.e. things like cyber bullying, grooming by pedophiles and the potential for lasting damage on young people’s careers when a potential employer runs an internet search on someone before appointing them and sees some pretty stupid stuff, I wonder why anyone would want to engage in a medium to broadcast their personal lives and details to all and sundry.

    Sure, you can restrict access to friends etc but are they really good friends and colleagues and do you have any guarantee that is as far as your information will go? Are you 100% guaranteed that your information cannot be breached, compromised or hacked? Do you have a contingency for when information you didn’t want to share with the world is out there for anyone to see? Do you have any idea of who your children are actually talking to and the real identity of the “friends” they are sharing things with?

    As an investigator my only use for facebook has been to find out things about people which is very easily done with hotmail accounts etc and fictitious information when setting up an account. Once you have finished you can disable the account and create another and another. It has no other place in my life and I do still enjoy talking to family and friends in person, writing letters and making phone calls.

  • Craig

    Laura says hi, her and i both deleted our accounts and find 34DD life much more enjoyable by far!

  • abi

    Well i am one of the ones who is with you on this topic. Everything you’ve said about this matter is exactly what I’ve thought of myself as well. Do what makes You happy and if getting off facebook or other sites is good for You then by a means go for it. Be Comfortable its your life, if people disapprove then that’s them let thm be bitter who cares. as long as Your happy and comfy that’s all that matters:) You are worth more then a NON LIVING web page. If the people you know keep disapproving your decision then its time to start considering hanging around a new group of folk. :)

  • RM

    i feel exactly the same! and this feeling is causing bitterness in me towards such screen people/ ‘fb’ friends of mine. the only reason i dont delete the account is that at times facebook does help reaching out to people quickly in case of any required info and to more of them that can be contacted via phone etc.

  • Tayssett

    Funny that post!
    I’m right in the middle of it too since I’ve decided to delete my FB account.
    However, I told people beforehand (well, yesterday) what I was planning to do so that those who wanted to update their contact infos could do it.
    And the response was quite staggering!

    Closest (real) friends were shocked.
    Some said it was silly, sad, a shame etc…

    It’s as if they took this as a reject, as if I was deleting THEM from my life… (or deleting myself from theirs, that would be more accurate)
    I said that chats existed, as well as Skype, SMS or even email (and letters) but they seem no see nothing beyond Facebook.

    I’m all the more surprised that these people I actually know. I go out with them or go to their place. They’ve been so totally drowned in Facebook that they consider it the only mode of communication, whether with kin or strangers.

    This only motivated me even more to quit Facebook.
    I’m only waiting for the backup then I’ll hit the button… ‘Might even celebrate! 😉

  • Amy Lynn Swiatczak

    I’m with you. I’m planning on deleting the facebook I’ve had since 2007. And I do expect a backlash. But whatever. True friends (which are very FEW) will keep in touch in other ways. I’m not worried. Everyone else can fade away… which ultimately… is what I really want. A simpler life.

  • Barry

    Recently deleted my Facebook account too. Those who are truly important to me, I’m keeping in touch with them and vice versa. For everybody else, there’s Twitter.

  • Jono

    i needed to get on with my uni stuff but i was constantly on facebook. so I deleted it in March (now Sept). I miss logging on in moments of boredom and talking to people but i can now get on with stuff. I still have skype twitter msn etc but im not addicted to them like i was with facebook. and also i fell out with people on there and seeing my (ex)friends enjoying fun times without me really hurt, so I’m glad i dont have to deal with that now :-)

  • Common sense

    Hundreds of emails? Give over. If you interacted with Facebook that much, equating to about 14 profile views a day, bullshit by the way, you wouldn’t delete it. Liar

  • Chipfaced

    Nobody thinks about you as much as you think they do. Guess what? Everyone else has a life! So you may not be on Facebook, but you also aren’t on a lot of minds. Sadly, since lawyers need to market themselves, when your long lost buddy needs a lawyer, he probably won’t think of you–he’ll think of another lawyer friend of his that he sees regularly in his social feed.

    • Paul

      What about Legal Marketplaces ??!! or Law Societies recommendation.

      Why should all happen on Social Networks??!

  • Joanna

    It’s a free country. Whatever. It’s an opinion.

  • Cat

    I am now getting 100’s of emails from facebook because I was invited to events from people who are not even on my friends’ list. I got sick of all the content management.

  • Regina Phalange

    ME! me! me!!!!! I’m a uni student. It’s ALL about facebook. I’ll be sitting in a group and literally everyone will be on facebook on their smartphones. (I have nothing against smartphones– but whats the point if you’re just a kid still struggling with uni fees?) It has come to the point where it’s actually NECESSARY for me to create a profile, in order to join a club/news/etc.
    What irritates me the most is that people think I’m weird for not having facebook.
    The whole idea of posting trivial updates and taking pictures of myself seems ludicrous. And it’s not necessary for ”communication”. There are plenty of different ways to communicate.

  • Peter

    Excellent blog post!

    I deleted my FB account yesterday and it is a big relieve. It is true: it makes you a different, shallow, superficial person. No true meaning to Life and Friendship. I was basically “forced” to have “friendship” with assholes that where friends of friends and the other friends where all hands up if I didn’t accept their “friendship” > what a stupid mess. Facebook is also a big waste of precious time. Remember people, you are on this planet, right now in this form: only ONCE. Enjoy the ride. 😉

  • patti

    I really see no reason for me to criticize FB users who enjoy this social media. Why judge them or FB? I, however, had to leave because I could see myself burning time as a voyeur. I became acquainted with my achilles heel. Who knew? So i deleted my account. And while I believe “I” am a unique person, I Googled for reassurance that there are other individuals like me.
    Chapter closed, happily…

  • Bear

    My name is Bear and I am a Facebookaholic

    “Hi Bear.”

    I am sharing your post on my FB just days before my Facebookocalypse, where I delete my account. FB has cheapened me and the lives of those around me.

  • Allen Fry

    Thank God someone besides myself recognized the stupidity behind the ” ‘Unfortunately’ social network.”

  • Mark Cutshall

    Our teen-age daughter’s access to Facebook is wrecking havoc with our family. Even though she is 14 and legally, as a minor, is under our parental supervision, Facebook will not provide help or information about how to permanently delete her Facebook account. Our daughter, of course, resists this action. FYI: Her erroneous, registered age on Facebook is 30 years old, a work-around.

    My question: Does anyone know how to deactivate their child’s/minor’s account.

    FYI: Below, is Facebook’s Q&A response on this issue.

    Thanks, in advance to anyone who can help.


    How can I gain access to or delete my child’s account if they are 13 years or older?

    We appreciate your concern for your child’s use of our website, but unfortunately we cannot give you access to the account or take any action on the account at your request. We are generally forbidden by privacy laws against giving unauthorized access to someone who is not an account holder. Please note that all users ages 13 and older are considered authorized account holders and are included in the scope of this policy.

    We encourage parents to exercise any discretion they can on their own computers and in overseeing their kids’ internet use. If you are a parent, you might also consider using software tools on your own computer in order to do so. Please do a search for computer-based Internet control technology on your preferred search engine to discover options that you may wish to pursue.

    Please also talk to your kids, educate them about internet safety, and ask them to use our extensive privacy settings.

  • Ami

    I deleted my facebook account in the beginning of 2011. I deleted it for the sake of school, and while I have other social media outlets, it’s much harder to keep up with them. No one uses Google+, and Tumblr is purely for entertainment purposes.

    I’ve been asked by others to get another account, and I’ve thought about it, but considering that not all states prohibit potential employers from asking for access to their accounts, I think it’s better if I leave things the way they are now. I like that I’m disconnected from everyone in that sense — the people who want to keep up with I already do. It’s easy to say, “Oh, but I would just keep people close to me,” but the temptation to add more people is there, and I’d rather not.

    It definitely has its downsides, especially with businesses who use Facebook for, well, everything. Of course, that’s also why there’s twitter, which I also don’t have an account.

  • chrissie

    I delted my fb account the weekend before Christmas. Giving up fb was right up there with giving up cigaretts and Diet Coke for me! Haven’t missed it nor regreted it, but have been treated like a social misfit because I did it.

  • Tom

    I deleted my facebook account 2 weeks ago. Best thing I’ve ever done. I want some mystery about my life. I want something to talk about to people when we catch up. When my REAL friends actually get back from Holidays, I want to catch up for dinner and go through their pictures.

  • Brooke

    I admire you for completely deleting it. A few months ago, I deleted about 400 “friends” because I had no need or interest in knowing what they had for dinner on a Monday night, where they were going with their partners on a Tuesday night and how their work day was going on Wednesday. I wish I had the balls to go all the way like you though. Nice work!

  • http://07702206465 arendana


  • fester

    I’ve just read an overabundance of pessimistic views for all angles. People are seeking attention, and they want to be heard without being judged. These people are harmless and leaders should be mature and intelligent enough to know how to navigate the software on FB so you stay in control. The big picture spells out that these harmless, lonely people are controlling you and so you react in a compulsive motion to delete your account? Being overly sensitive displays a weak persona and if I can see it, others can to. Think about it?

  • Laura

    I could not have said it better!!! GREAT POST, you put into words all my thoughts on Facebook.

  • http://texttube.host56.com/profile/SabrinaSh Norah

    My brother suggested I might like this blog. He was totally right.
    This post actually made my day. You cann’t imagine just how much time I had spent for this info! Thanks! Norah

  • Catrina

    I have kept my facebook page active for artistic reasons and artistic contact reasons, which is not saying all that much. Actually, the damn site put me in touch with more flakes who lack integrity than anything. I think Facebook can be dangerous, letting into your life people you might not have ever had contact with or had a later reason to de-friend (because they sucked so much you didn’t want to see their face anymore,) and then felt weird and somewhat immature about it later. One thing that irks me is all the males trying to show off their taste in women by “liking” this or that photo. It’s too much – and the women trying to show off their bodies and how popular they are. No modesty hardly at all. I think one can assimilate the narcissism there, but all you have to do is take a step back and really look to see that that is what is promoted most of the time and I now feel bad about participating in any of that at all, although some narcissism is healthy and normal. I also had to see photos of a now ex-friend (who I really never liked that much anyway), huffing whip-its in a Vegas hotel room the night of her wedding. Ugh….And then all the overly personal stuff to all the overly banal stuff. I think I finally got really sick of it when an ex-therapist from many years ago found me on it through an ex-fiancee. Her primary role is that of addiction counselor and here she is completely addicted to facebook almost more so than 90% of my “friends” on there. That sort of brought to light a very specific thing about FB that I frown upon – the obsessive/compulsive nature of it all for some with those tendencies at all and that can be a lot of us these days….I also tried to get together in person with a few people on there and it went nowhere. The site is good for finding out what is going on in certain areas I am interested in as it localizes it all in one place and for making new artistic contacts (with now more reserve in place), but other than that, I stay off of it more than ever. I don’t update and I feel my life is better without all the “screen people” in my mind. When I was on it more, I found myself with too much content to manage in the end.

  • acolvin

    Touche! Brava! You broke the cycle. So did I. You are the one who walked out of the bar, and now all the drunks you left behind are mocking you. Good for you. Facebook, all its ilk are best left to those who think human interaction involves plastic and electronic devises. I’m of an age when we leaned how to socially interact “live.” And if I require a “pic” of something, I know how to ask for one or pick up the phone and make the request. Our so-called modern notion of “social” media, does indeed isolate us and cheepens the human experience, and I am proud that I possess the skills to interact without the crutch of an electronic devise. I use them for their intended purpose, not as a hollow sustitute for human contact. Again, congrats.

  • http://2342 Daniel

    i deleted it 8months ago and i haven’t had any regrets yet.
    The reason i didn’t leave it and deleted it was because i had this feeling that facebook is taking away too much time from me and I can’t manage time because it’s pretty addictive.
    Even now Im still glad i deleted it. I think because i only had little friends, over a hundred.
    And I don’t know why but it feels bad when I’m addicted at something I think it’s like a trauma from my childhood (when I played too much games not being able to manage time)

  • Linda

    You get my respect! I deleted my account four months ago and I haven’t regretted it for a second. Life’s so much better and less annoying in the real space world:)

  • http://jacksonbanks.wordpress.com Jackson Banks

    Congrats on your accomplishment. Not long ago, I was in Jackson Hole for a legal conference and four of us, all lawyers, were sitting in the bar (big surprise, I know) next to a large window overlooking the Teton mountains. We were literally in an Ansel Adams photograph, and all of us were silent and glued to our iPhones and on Facebook. I prefer face time to Facebook any day, and it’s a shame that the majority of us are losing personal connection in favor of the digital world.

  • http://creativeliar.com Ericka @ Creative Liar

    I deleted mine, too, for the exact same reasons. and won’t be going back. Glad to know I’m not the only one who’s over the whole Facebook thing.

  • Paul

    All social media has a dark secreet: it builds on individual insecurity and vulnerability. In many cases messages posted show individual’s need of validation and recognition and it builds on our socialite desire facet of our personalities.

    Social media has an addictive factor that is build around illusory and virtual ‘friendships’ and relationships with the major objective of monitoring of the individuals for further marketing and sales purposes and other much speculated reasons (Big Brother conspiracy). It is not the fault of those who created the ‘tools’ but ours, the ‘sheeple’ that follow suite.

    The social media marketing has a a strong ‘peer-pressure factor’ and sales mechanisms were put in place to create the ‘fit-factor’ , hence the need to ‘fit-in’ pushed many to join the various social websites.

    In specific cases, where the groups are closed (but even then one’s presence can not be concealed from unwanted sneaks) social media may be an efficient communication tool. But so is Skype or Yahoo !!!

    I deleted my account after i realised that I started to manifest dependency for empty communication, looking into posts that were entirely irrelevant for me or even posting ‘smart comments’ most likely in a subconscient need for validation…. I started to dislike my alter ego that took over my personality.

    I am free again to explore and enjoy the real world and communicate with my REAL friends.

  • Molly

    Agree 100%. Also embarrassing and gross-out-y is the complete narcissism of it all. Seriously considering the same move.

  • barb lengyel.

    I have tried to delete my f.b. account for weeks now who needs the stress I want it gone but am kept in limbo.If anyone can give me an answer that would be great We all have enough stress and don’t need anymore

  • barb lengyel.

    I had a comment on here and it is gone!! Everyone is talking about f.b. deletion and I can’t get mine done What kind of world is this when a simple jdeletion cannot be done!!or no one cares what you are going thru with all the stress!!

  • Mike Smith

    Excellent article. Will be going straight into our De-Facement Diaries page at:


  • CW

    You’re not the only one. I stay on because I like the groups I belong to and get a lot of useful information from others who are in them. They are mostly related to school events and medical conditions I have. My H has done what you have, deleted his account.

  • barb lengyel

    I was told I needed to pay money to have my facebook account deleted

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  • PH

    Love the “Screen People” word picture. Just deleted my Facebook account after 5 years! Free at Last!

  • gemma

    I get fb then I think- this is rubbish, what even is it? it is nothing, not making me less awkward or more available in any way- I don’t care about all this stuff. no one is talking to me on it… few months later I delete then same thing happens 2 months later I get, I delete. Then I realise that my friends don’t invite me, contact out of school zero and I desperately feel urge to re-join…but that would be embarrassing…?WT..

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  • jim elliot

    I’m just considering the value of facebook. I have used it to try to reveal who I am, maybe to make myself look good, maybe fishing to see if anyone I’d be interested in connecting out there is interested in connecting with me? Arrogantly, I think I know some stuff that I’d like to share around politics, psychology, religion, philosophy, human nature, relationships, the meaning life, and on and on. Due to the nature of facebook, I have skirted the edge of most issues, not wanting to uselessly offend anyone and that doesn’t feel great to me. I haven’t given up on the idea of using facebook to inform and encourage people to grow and learn. The jury is not out yet.

  • john

    Facebook is the worst newspaper in the world. Has anyone successfully deleted it for good and do you have to wait for 14 days? It is addictive but can be informative once you unsubscribe from the narcissists. I would love to delete it permanently but I’m too hooked. Any suggestions?

  • Kot Behemot

    Hey! I did the same. Just 4 year later than you:) I love it!

  • M Dizzle

    This entire article really resonated with me. You pretty much hit the nail on the head with all your points. I’m a younger guy and I could never understand the obsession with online media. This stuff is worse for people than crack, because there is never an end in sight. What a colossal waste of time and potential to be posting all your details, and keeping up with details of people that really don’t give a flying **** about you.

    I LOVE that facebook and other place implemented a like-stystem. That was such a crucial piece for Zuckerberg and other places to get. Now there is a sense of competition that has been created to suck you in even deeper. “Oh they only have 15 likes, they must not be very popular.” “200 LIKES!!! OMG how do I get that many likes?!” Better get out your tattas girl, better filter, better lighting, lol…for what? To feel good behind a computer screen? Attention? Where are the legit girls out there that aren’t flashing their tits all over the internet.

    I personally don’t feel I have the right to be privy to others people’s lives, regardless of how well I know them. If you got some amazing pictures, or something you want to show me, email me or call me. People just airing out everything for all to see, I just have no idea why anyone would ever want to do that. People just love to act so popular, they spend more time behind their screens than they do in nature and out with actual people. It’s beautiful for me to go anywhere with more confidence than the facebook community combined (because I don’t give a fuk unlike you), and just be a freakin beast without having to pat myself or have people pat me on the back every single day…

  • Steve Fischer

    This is like saying you polished off 4 bottles of vodka every day so you decided never to have a drink again. In moderation FB is fun. I learn and read different viewpoints and I enjoy checking on my friends. Its great if you have lived in many places and want to stay in touch. I’ve gotten clients from some of my posts, even though I’m scaling down. I don’t spend 13 hours a day, not even one hour but I really enjoy it.