Jabulani Ncube, 40, was on trial for assault of his wife when he raised the old Zimbabwe chicken defense. Ncube was upset that his wife, Nomusa Sibanda, 24, served chicken for dinner and kept the breast and one drumstick for herself. Sibanda gave her husband the gizzards, wings and the other drumstick. This apparently ruffled Ncube’s feathers and he assaulted Nomusa. According to the local tribal court, the tastiest parts of the chicken — the back, breast and drumsticks — are to be reserved for the man of the house. Thus, the tribal court found Nomusa guilty and fined her one chicken for the offense. The court also fined Sibanda’s grandmother, Gogo MaDawu, one chicken for failing to teach her granddaughter “how to treat her husband and dish out meals.”
Who knew Colonel Sanders was the head of Zimbabwe’s tribal court? Sacrificing chickens like they are Pedro Cerrano. What is the American equivalent here? Taking the last piece of pizza before asking? Trying to pass off the heel piece of the loaf of a bread as an actual slice? Mitt Romney killing Big Bird? Either way I was all on Nomusa Sibanda’s side until she served the gizzards. You can’t try to pull the gizzards for breast switch without expecting to get caught. That is just Bird Law 101.
P.S. I love the idea of going after the grandmother. That needs to be implemented in U.S. courts and it needs to happen yesterday. Parents getting fined a bucket of KFC for their idiot adult children’s selfish chicken hoarding. Twenty-eighth amendment, here we come.