What the hell is it about men that makes them get such a kick out of making women feel uncomfortable? Seriously.
The IP boutique firm I worked for until recently had two offices. One in Palo Alto, one in San Francisco. I worked in the Palo Alto office, but one day I was called to visit the San Francisco office to meet with a client because the deal partner was unavailable and I was the most up-to-date. Not a problem.
While I knew most of the attorneys in the San Francisco office by name, there were several I had never met in person. So I was excited to introduce myself and say hello. It’s the larger of the two offices where most of the partners are based, so obviously I thought it’d be a great opportunity to get some face time.
I arrived at the San Francisco office a few hours before my meeting was scheduled, so I borrowed the office of the partner who was out for the day—just as I was instructed to do on the phone by the office manager. A lovely office. Picture perfect, actually—complete with a gorgeous view of the bay.
I walked in, sat down at the desk and began unpacking my things. I’d brought my own laptop, so had no reason to use his computer. All was well. I admired a picture of his kids on the credenza for a quick moment and started some work.
Ten minutes later, a young male partner came into the office with a male first-year associate. I had met the partner a few times before. He’s always the one taking out and “entertaining” the young associates and summer interns. As the only female in my starting class, I certainly wasn’t unfamiliar with his amorous and gregarious ways. While we’ve never shared anything other than a professional relationship, his presence has always made me feel a little tense.
After a second of small talk and meeting the first-year, the young partner immediately pointed and asked me if I’d used the resident partner’s computer. Of course I answered no. Then, in one fell swoop, he reached over and proceeded to turn it on. I silently panicked.
Once the desktop screen appeared, he immediately clicked and found the “xxx” directory. Before you know it, I saw breasts bouncing on the screen, and he instructed me and the associate to watch a stream of hard-core porn on the computer.
Shocked, I can hardly even remember how I reacted exactly. I’m still so confused.
The first-year associate was laughing hysterically. I think I witnessed a bonding moment. Then, for a second, I thought I was being framed. As if someone was about to walk in any moment so they could both point at me and said I did it. Was this just a guy thing? Was this supposed to be entertaining to me? Was this some elaborate ruse to get me fired? Does the resident partner seriously watch this smut on his computer with a picture of his kids over his shoulder?
All I could do was tell him to turn it off and get out. Paranoid about even putting a fingerprint on the keyboard, I made him close every open window and click “Shut Down.” They laughed all the way out of the office and down the hall. I just started working again. I never made a stink or told anyone else in the office or ever expressed to the young partner how appalled I was.
But I always wonder, what would any other female lawyer have done in that situation? And to the guys, what would you have done as a first-year associate? Would you just sit there and giggle?
Luckily, a new job opportunity found me shortly after. But I still replay that day in my head on loop.
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