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I'm Not Walking the Partner's Dog

  Ex-Bitter /   May 20, 2011 /   Columns, Lawyer /   10 Comments


QI’m a fairly new associate at a mid-size West Coast law firm. There’s a partner here who brings in his dog Bruno nearly every day, which is no big deal by itself. Apparently I’m told it’s a West Coast thing, though I don’t know of anyone else doing it at a law firm.


Bruno’s a great dog and gets lots of pats and treats from me and others in the firm, associates and partners alike. But a system has developed where about three associates ask to walk Bruno or take Bruno outside to a park that is fairly close to the office. I draw the line with walking a partner’s dog. But I’m realizing that the other associates who walk Bruno are getting better work assignments and get invited to lunches much more than I do, even from other partners. Should I buck up and volunteer walk the dog every now and then?

AOoh. Good thing you draw the line with walking the partner’s dog. The partner is a douchebag. If he brings Bruno, then he walks Bruno. Or he pays the going hourly rate to walk the dog – going attorney rates. Maybe create a client account called “Ass Licking Dog” and the associates can bill against it, in six minute increments. Imagine the time entries.

Your associate pals are douchebag toadies too. They’re picking up Bruno’s shit. Not the shit the labrador-loving partner doles out every day he comes into the office. Real shit. In little bags. Stay away from this arrangement and, if you feel left out, participate marginally. Like pat Bruno from time to time and, on occasion, slip him some doggie laxatone. That’ll create some good time entries.

(photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/aubergene/255551316/)

Filed Under: Columns, Lawyer Tagged With: Advice from an Ex-Bitter, ass kissing, biglaw, gl11

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