CLOSE-UP: A raised golf club. The shaft twinkling in the sunlight.
CAMERA PANS UPWARD, tracking the club as it swings. A MAN looks off into the distance. His hands gently grip the club. His tweed hat is lowered OVER HIS FACE.
It is DUSK. A warm, SUMMER evening.
Suddenly, the man’s club descends. The man looks out over the course. Moving the hat from his face. CAMERA DOLLIES FORWARD, into a CLOSE UP of the man. It is INDIANA JONES. His face ANXIOUS… HOPEFUL…
A VOICE interrupts. In the DISTANCE.
MACGOWAN (O.S.)
Doctor Jones!… Doctor Jones !…
Indy TURNS to the direction of the sound, ruining his shot.
MacGowan SHOUTS to Indy.
MACGOWAN
We need your assistance!
INDY
C’mon, Mac. You ruined my shot!
MACGOWAN
It’s about the Geometry Standards.
INDY
Wait. What?
That’s right Indy, a Common Core Geometry Standard has been lost, and we need your help to find it!
Now, since Indy doesn’t have young children and isn’t a K-12 educator, the first part of his mission is to answer this ancient riddle: what is a Geometry Standard? Indy must wander the midwest to ask the wisest K-12 educator he can find what exactly is a geometry standard?
In this context (unlike all other contexts pretty much everywhere) a content standard is a broad statement that describes specific content unique to each discipline and grade.
And so, it turns out, that in the process of cutting and pasting, copying and redacting, moving and shaking, that a very particular piece of information that students should know got left out. What piece of information you ask?
[blockquote type=”left, right”]Know that the effect of a scale factor k greater than zero on length, area, and volume is to multiply each by k, k2, and k3, respectively; determine length, area and volume measures using scale factors. [/blockquote]
Whatever, grown ups. Probably most of you don’t remember that area and volume scale differently. We know you’d work it out if you spent longer on it. It’s okay, Indy doesn’t need you to show your work.
Regardless, children need to know this shit if only so that they can forget it later in life and then feel slightly ashamed while reading a stupid blog post. But if Indy were to let the dastardly Common Core have their way, NO ONE would know area and volume scale differently.
A generation of lost and wayward youth would roam the streets.
Until someone at a school figured out that they were teaching stuff in Geometry that wasn’t actually in the standards and just added it to their state’s version of the standards. Like California already has. But, whatever. We are trying to make an action adventure movie here people, not educate. Gawd.
[EdWeek]
Featured Image Credit: M.V. Leimontas