It was New Year’s Eve 2006 and my dear friend threw a small soiree to ring out the old. There were finger foods, cocktails with floating pom arils, and a feeling of all-around merriment. And then our hostess brought out a tray of mini pizzas. I’d put down a few pounds of pom arils and was famished, so I went for it. Everyone around me said to wait until the pizzas cooled down. That they were extremely hot. But in my mind, I would take a fresh-from-the-oven mini pizza, pop it in my mouth, clink glasses with my friends, and then break into “Auld Lang Syne.” Simple. But instead, the molten lava of cheese and sauce dripped down my chin and scorched off the first layer of my skin.
Now, whose fault was it that I burned off my face? Was it my friend’s fault? The pizza’s? Pom arils’? The year 2005’s? You, in the front row. My fault? You are correct!
The scar is still faintly there, and now we have a funny story to bring up every now and again. And we just laaaaaugh.
One person you should never invite to your New Year’s Eve party or your Easter celebration at Benihana (?!) is Tori Spelling. She must be plum out of funds from Lifetime movies and whoring out her marriage on reality TV cuz now she’s come up with a new way to pay the bills.
This past April, Tori was with her family at the Benihana in Encino, California. You know, the Japanese restaurant where you sit around a grill and a chef cooks your food in front of you. He performs knife trickery and throws shrimp all over the place—shrimp tails on top of his hat and into his pocket, and shrimp bodies into the mouths of willing guests. So many shrimp parts flying.
There aren’t a lot of details, but Tori went and tripped and fell onto a hibachi grill, burning her arm and sustaining “deep second- and third-degree burn injuries requiring hospitalization and surgery.” She even had to receive skin grafts.
Tori is suing Benihana for negligence and is seeking more than $25,000 in compensatory damages.
Unless she tripped on a pile of shrimp tails, we’re not following the logic.