Recap: RuPaul’s Drag Race

Well, this morning we got up super early to recap the season seven premiere of RuPaul’s Drag Race and frankly we were freakin’ horrified to see that the DVR had recorded two and a half hours of this show. So, we’ll see how far into this we get before we throw in the towel.

As always, the premiere episode begins with each queen dramatically entering the work room, and we learn a little factoid about them. Except there are totally too many queens and we lost track of them. We really only excel at remembering everyone after about half the contestants have gone home. See! Look at all these contestants!

The next phase of the episode: a seasonal fashion show. Ru bills the fashion show as being more difficult than the photo shoot normally held in the first episode but, Ru, you are totally wrong. This is basically what you get the ladies to do on the Main Stage every week, which may be more indicative of who should go home, but is not nearly as exciting as when you made all the Queens jump in an oversized fish tank.

By the final look, even Ru sounded kind of bored announcing Violet’s entrance. Which turned out to be pretty awesome, since she unsnapped her boring black dress and it turned into some sort of exploding winged tartan jumpsuit.

The next phase of the episode is the elimination challenge. The performers walk the runway and are then judged by a panel of judges who are incredibly good (or maybe we mean bad?) at puns. The theme for this week’s runway walk? The illusion of nudity. We assume it’s a tie in to the “Born Naked” title of the episode.The Queens have to create a resort tear away look and then appear to look naked on the runway.

This was perhaps not the best choice on the producer’s behalf. The majority of the segment was people in Spanx-like outfits cavorting around the runway with unnecessary blurred out video to protect the Queens’ modesty, leaving the viewer wishing everyone could put their awesome outfits back on.

Well, until we got to Violet Chachki, who we are pretty sure did not illusionary her nakedness and instead walked the runway actually naked. It’s possible Katya also walked the runway pretty close to actually naked but since she was safe we did not get to further explore the nakedness.

We do not know why Michelle Visage was so hard on Kandy Ho’s “beard” contour – perhaps because we did not record this in HD? It looked good here at home. As a make-up wearing kind of lady, I have to say I could use some tips, Kandy! We also don’t know why she was so put off by Violet’s boy nudity on the main stage. It looked better than the Spanx situation, and let’s face it, Violet has the body for nakedness.

Violet won the challenge! And a well deserved win!

Kandy Ho and Tempest DuJour are up for elimination. Which means: Lip Syncing For Your Life!

This is far and away the best part of the show, because we freakin’ love drag performance and would watch these ladies perform all freakin’ day. The song is not our fave:

But it’s a recent RuPaul song, so fine.

Kandy gives a pretty impressive performance, with much energetic dancing. Tempest DuJour was a lot more reserved and as a result she was eliminated.

Bye, Tempest. It was nice to know you, however briefly.

And, our weird two and a half recording mystery is now resolved! Logo has two interconnected new teevee shows created by Russel T. Davies called ‘Cucumber’ and ‘Banana’ and the DVR decided we needed to see a sneak peek. If you need a sneak peek, you can check out this review on HuffPo.