Guilt hits us this morning as we run out the door, scrambling with car keys, unsure if we are hung over or still drunk from the night before. It’s okay, last night was a celebration (more on that later) after a (finally) good episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race (Logo, Mondays 10/9C). Don’t worry though, this Bitter Critic still has plenty to say!
The ladyboys are a bit shaken up from last week’s elimination, not because it was Max who got sent home, although that furthered the notion…no one is safe, but because one of the eliminated queens is coming back. Ru comes on the screen and the queens’ stomachs drop. Rightfully so, I’d be pissed to make it half way for another queen to come in who got to skip challenges. Ru opens the door and we see…Latrice Royale…what?! Season 5 fan favorite Latrice Royale is a breath of stale air.
Disclaimer, we love Latrice Royale. Last week we had the previous season’s winner who in the world of drag race is still reigning and relevant, but to go back two seasons to Latrice is just the producers beating a dead horse with a glitter stick.
The mini-challenge is a prison makeover and we get why Latrice Royale is there. Ru sets Latrice up to say (really again?) “Get those nuts away from my face!”. We laugh because it is funny, but it’s all so forced and contrived. Ru, fire your production/writing team, it seems they have run out of new ideas. The girls have 20 minutes to get in their prison character and all of the girls are deliciously horrible and we are living. Kennedy Davenport wins (presumably because of her ashy knees) and we say goodbye to Latrice Royale.
Then we are holding our breath to see which eliminated queen Ru is bringing back. The doors open and out walks…Trixi Mattel! YES! #JusticeForTrixi and we couldn’t be more, wait, then Tempest Dujour walks in, what?! Following her are all of the eliminated queens and we are back to 14 girls. Hey, Editress, if we have to start all over again, I quit. Ru explains the main challenge is siamese conjoined twin realness. Um. Okay. The 7 remaining queens will pair up with an eliminated queen whom will have to be made over in the image of their remaining partner, they must be conjoined somewhere on their body and the winning remaining queen will have her partner stay. All of a sudden the heavens are upon us and a light shines down with a chorus of pre-pubescent European boys singing, because finally we have a challenge we haven’t seen before and this will take a lot of creativity. The hunger on the eliminated queen’s faces to get back in is palpable.
Kennedy Davenport gets the pleasure of picking her partner and assigning all of the other girl’s their partners. Kennedy Davenport makes bold and intelligent decisions as far as pairing the girls off.
Kennedy Davenport is conjoined to Jasmine Masters . Ru said it best, “Why she gotta be black?”
Pearl is conjoined to Trixi Mattel. Who she booted out in Episode 4.
Violet Chachki is conjoined to Max. Who are not fond of each other.
Miss Fame is conjoined to Kandy Ho. Do two queens with no personality make one good personality?
Ginger Minj is conjoined to Sasha Belle. Ginger is not having it.
Jaidyn Dior Fierce is conjoined to Tempest Dujour. If she can make her a siamese twin, give her the crown and end the show.
Katya is conjoined to Mrs. Kasha Davis. They were paired together the week Mrs. Kasha Davis was eliminated. Good memories. Oh wait.
It’s elimination day and all of the teams are on edge. We get a rare glimpse of the process that goes into painting your face for the Gawds (yes it’s spelt that way) and in a bold and belated move on the part of the producers we see real gay men and real back stories. This is what this show is suppose to be made of, stories that teach and inspire us. Tempest Dujour opens up about her Mormon roots and participating in conversion reparative therapy. Trixi opens up about the abuse she received from her step father, which escalated to the point of police taking him out of the house at the age of 15. He continues on that any effeminate action he would make as a boy, his step dad would call him Trixi. We finally get the real reason why she chose the name Trixi and it’s so inspiring that someone can talk the very thing that tore them apart and use it to build themselves up (I promise I’m not crying at 8 in the morning).
We are zoomed to the runway and thank the lord Ru is back to looking fabulous after her fashion faux paw of last week. Nelsan Ellis and LeeAnn Rimes are incredibly awkward guest judges. The looks we loved were Pearl/Trixi and Katya/Mrs. The looks we hated: twins Jaidyn/Tempest, Fame/Ho and Ginger/Sasha. The news ring on high and Pearl/Trixi win which means #ThereISJusticeForTrixi. The roar in the bar was absolutely insane, we now have an actual underdog who could take it all!
In the bottom: Jaidyn/Tempest and Ginger/Sasha. Now here I’m thinking Jaidyn and Ginger will be detached from their twins to lipsync, but no. Not only do they have to lipsync conjoined (and both at awkward places) but they also have to do it with queens who already know they are going back home and can not be bothered. This to me was a big mistake and if I was either of them I would’ve been pissed to be lipsyncing for my mother effing life with dead weight (pun intended). The song is I think we’re alone now by Tiffany (like, oh my god, totally!) and in the smartest choice you could make being attached to dead weight, Ginger Minj pulls out a pair of scissors and cuts off her twin at the boob. This of course sends Jaidyn Dior Fierce packing. About bloody time, this wal like her billionth time in the bottom. Trixi Mattel is back and we are finally at the halfway point!