In what has somehow developed into a regular feature, we live blog Taken By The Gay Unicorn Biker by Chuck Tingle. It is the great debate of our time: is being taken by a gay unicorn biker better or worse than being Taken by T-Rex?
Join us Thursday April 9th at 9am central to weigh in on the insanity.
If he was marrying Luigi it would make me so happy.
Chuck is such a prolific writer, I think he could use the Mario/Luigi pairing as the inspiration for his next story.
Leaving the scene of an accident is illegal. Mario is in BIG TROUBLE.
I’m surprised he hasn’t already written that one.
I am totally fixated on where that horn is going to go. And if it is made of keratin or if it is a bony structure.
I think post twilight all mythical creatures are required to sparkle.
Hey, Mario has a line in the sand. Luck is just a step too far.
I really want the unicorn to be wearing a biker jacket.
I wish there was some angst over whether sleeping with a male unicorn makes a man gay.
I mean, of the things you’re going to get hung up on, the Unicorn’s gender seems the least of your issues.
Chuck might be showing his roots here – in the pounded in my butt with my own butt story there is also a kirk.
No, I read the blurb though. Kirk is a research scientist who’s work went horribly awry.
For the rest of my life this is my conversation starter “You ever fucked a unicorn?” I’m just going to ask people this indiscriminately forever.
Oh whatever, Kirk. All unicorns are gay.
I just read a “medical mystery” and I swear the dialogue was actually worse than that line. Chuck’s got game.
No! Because Mario is the pragmatic type. Who doesn’t believe in luck, or magic.
Well, it’s important to have tension in a story – will they, won’t they, could they?
Yeah, I find it difficult to imagine how a glorified horse can correctly position themselves on a motorcycle for sexytime.
Zoonotic diseases are real, even if unicorns aren’t. best to use a condom. If the situation ever comes up.
So I may not have seen a Unicorn, but I have seen a horse. The mechanics of kissing seem more complicated than just doing the deed.
Also – regarding the embrace, I think we are back to the hooves issue raised earlier.
Kirk was wearing a shirt? Then why no leather jacket?!
Chuck missed out on a perfect opportunity for cross genre appeal
Oh wait. In the picture from the cover Kirk is wearing a jacket.
Well, they had to do the jacket all the way up because they had trouble picturing unicorn chest, so maybe there is a shirt under there. Also note, the hooves are not pictured!
You can bet neither of them thought ahead to bring a hair band.
oh yeah. Horsehair blankets. That’s a thing, right?
Oh yeah! A fully dressed unicorn! A naked unicorn would be breaking all sorts of laws – you’re not even allowed to drive topless!
I feel like there may be a girth issue here for the unicorn.
WELL YEAH Mario! Even I know the phrase “hung like a horse”
For the best – the body pillow T-rex penis imagery has really haunted me.
Listen, Mario. You can’t deep throat a unicorn. Not gonna happen. Surely, there are other tricks in your bag.
Kirk didn’t even know unicorns existed earlier today, that has not been a long held goal to achieve. I mean, I could see it being necessary if you had traveled the globe looking for a gay unicorn to deep throat, but that isn’t the case here.
I really hope Mario will take the Unicorn to the wedding and introduce him to the family.
Also, I am going to be totally disappointed if there isn’t horn play at some point in this story. I feel it’s a requirement if you’re going to write unicorn porn.
Oh NO! I can never unknow that!
I agree – there is a significant size issue there. Logistical FAIL Chuck.
Again – why the emphasis on the gayness? You are doin’ it with a unicorn. Gender is not the most important aspect of the story.
I don’t know?! I have no idea who Mr. Tingle’s audience is, but I’m pretty sure he’s laughing all the way to the bank.
At least he has the sense to be concerned. T-rex girl was totally oblivious to the danger.
Fair. It’s gotta be tough to find the right editor for Chuck’s genre.
Well, yeah. A submissive Unicorn would just be totally unbelievable.
“Kirk pauses, as he ruptures my colon with his beastly length.”
WAIT! There was no horn involved in this escapade at all?! WTF?!
What a letdown. Mr. Tingle, your readers are disappointed.
And, with that, we end another episode of story time. Thanks to all who can now never unsee this.