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Story Time: Live Blogging ‘Conquered By Clippy: An Erotic Short Story’

  BitterEmpire /   May 21, 2015 /   Endings /   2 Comments

In what has somehow developed into a regular feature, we live blog Conquered by Clippy: An Erotic Short Story by Leonard Delaney  in which Clippy gets its comeuppance.

Join us, Thursday May 21 at 9am Central, to weigh in on the insanity.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:00 am

All right, here we go.  I’ve got my newly purchased copy of “Conquered by Clippy” and am ready to go!

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:01 am

Our heroine’s name is Christine Aackerland with two ‘a’s which I guess makes her fancy like an aardvark.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:02 am

Oh dear.  She’s an “independent woman.”  Apparently this means she won’t accept help from the bagger at the grocery store, opens her own doors, and takes the stairs instead of the elevator.

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:02 am

That seems very specific for Clippy related erotica. Although the extra a does make it sound fancy.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:03 am

Just because she’s so independent doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about her beauty!  (I know, you were worried!)

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:03 am

Those women’s libbers. Always subverting the patriarchy by avoiding the elevators.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:04 am

She doesn’t like to wear her glasses because they obstruct her “striking grey eyes.”

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:04 am

Well, I assume all those stairs keep her quite trim!

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:04 am

Wait – so the set up is that she doesn’t need any help in life…

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:04 am

But she needs them now because there’s an important email from none-other-than “Phil” Gates.

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:04 am

yeah – seeing is for total suckers

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:05 am

Oh, it seems “Phil” has heard of her adventures with Tetris.  Mmmm, maybe Ian was right and we should have started there?

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:05 am

also – what is going on with that raggedy-ass bra she has on in the cover photo

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:05 am

He’s “Impressed with her relationships with inanimate objects and ability to communicate with words.”

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:06 am

Communicate with WORDS.  Way to rock the job skills, Christie!

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:06 am

Tara – I think it’s some sort of aplique.

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:06 am

Phil has set a real low bar here.

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:06 am

or worn look maybe, like jeans that come with the holes in them?

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:07 am

Seems “Phil” has discovered an alien artifact in the middle of a remote and DANGEROUS location. (emphasis mine.)  No red flags here, Christie.

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:07 am

although jeans with holes can still function mostly, bras with holes, well.

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:07 am

aliens? This is taking a turn for the interesting that I did not see coming

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:08 am

“We would like to send you there ALONE, WITHOUT ANY HELP, to tell the artifact’s story…”  Yep, yep, Christie, no red flags here, none whatsoever!

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:08 am

If distressed bras are turning into a trend….

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:08 am

wait – what’s Aarvark’s, I mean Aackerland’s job – journo?

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:09 am

Yeah, aliens.  This is very unexpected.  Because now Bill… er, I mean Phil has taken her back to Micro… I mean, Silicon Valley to show her where they “unearthed the vessel.”

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:09 am

Apparently, Aardvark is a blogger.  So… 

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:09 am

is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:10 am

That this is a sequel and we have perhaps missed plot points is maybe the most bizarre thing.

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:10 am

“Would you like to come up to my room to see my vessel?”

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:10 am

Listen her skills involve COMMUNICATING WITH WORDS.  She is highly skilled at words.

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:10 am

Oh we are bloggers! Maybe a tech giant will one day ask us to investigate alien artifacts! I did not know this could get more exciting!

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:10 am

She’s not so bad at smoldering looks either but her underwear maintenance skills are apparently iffy.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:11 am

“Phil” had just told us they unearthed the space vessel while MINING FOR COMPUTER CHIPS.  Because, apparently, you don’t make those, you dig them up.

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:11 am

Thank you for validating my opins on her delicates, Naomi

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:11 am

Intel is just rocked to their very core.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:12 am

This has just gotten really weird.  Phil is going to take her to the location when “a greenish cloud sailed past Christie’s window” (of the helicopter, mind you, not a computer window.)  Wanna guess what it was?

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:12 am

I keep looking at that bra and thinking, “is that inside out?!?” I mean it’s not only ratty it just looks weirdly wrong to me.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:12 am

“A Silicon geyser.”

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:12 am

wow – so Intel is just a big scam org that doesn’t actu DO anything, because the chips come preformed from the earth.

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:12 am

A silicon geyser?

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:13 am

“Pack it up, boys. Now they’re just mining them out of the ground, no one needs Intel anymore.”

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:13 am

If silicon geysers were a thing, would everyone in silicon valley need to go around using self-contained breathing units at all times to avoid destroying their lungs? 

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:13 am

having a hard time imagining green clouds sailing past, clouds don’t really “sail.” 

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:14 am

Maybe this is the future, because Bill, er PHIL has just pulled out his “Windows Phone 8.1” which has been broken during the helicopter crash caused by plumes of silicon, apparently.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:14 am

I just want to say, page 3: WHAT??

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:14 am

I worry that this author lacks even a 9th grade earth science education.

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:15 am

Oh no! Is everyone okay after the crash?

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:15 am

Oh, my lord above.  Now they’re wandering in the debris and discovered a “vertical line crossed by a shorter horizontal line”  “It’s a cross,” said Phil.  “Are we dealing with an ancient Christian alien cult?”

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:15 am

I am so lost.

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:15 am

I can suspend my disbelief for sex with inanimate objs, but Windows Phone 8.1 is a bridge too far

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:15 am

The smartphone is down, but everyone is okay.

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:16 am

I think this author would have done better eschewing some of this nonsensical setup and just getting on with the sex.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:16 am

Luckily, when Christie pulls out her pen (apparently to do her blogging on PAPER??) Clippy has climbed out and “pounced” to the ground and asked his signature phrase, “Would you like some assistance today?”

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:16 am

I see you are attempting fiction.  Would you like some help with that?

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:17 am

Okay hang on. What did Clippy climb out of? Out of the smartphone?

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:17 am

Phew, that’s a relief. I don’t know what I’d do if the well developed characters I’ve grown to know and love were injured in the crash.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:17 am

Apparently the cross wasn’t an ancient cross, but a “t.”  Somehow this alerts Phil that Clippy is a “magnificently intelligent machine.”

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:17 am

@Joline: lol

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:18 am

wait – still trying to sort out where Clippy emerged from

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:18 am

Now Phil and Clippy are “chatting way like old friends” while Christy goes exploring.  OMG WHERE IS THE SEX??

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:18 am

Clippy climbed out of the giant T? I think I’m lost.

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:19 am

What is Clippy exploring? And why isn’t it someone’s nether regions? What the heck kind of story is this?

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:19 am

also – Aardvark is entirely non-plussed at Clippy?

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:19 am

Interesting question – who’s getting the business end of Clippy? I mean, Phil seems a reasonable choice.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:19 am

Clippy has “pounced” out of crashed vessel apparently alerted by the fact that Christine wanted to write something…. or maybe because someone noticed the “t.”  Honestly, I’m reading it and I have no idea.

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:20 am

At least Chuck Tingle’s chars are real enough to recognize the absurdity of their situations before plunging into whatever ill-advised trysting

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:20 am

Okay, things are, if possible, getting weirder.  Christie has now decided to find a hole in the ground that seems to be leading to… an office complex?

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:20 am

I’m going to misuse the word pounce in this fashion forever now. It’s a thing. Like fetch but more successful.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:20 am

Also, excited by the adventure Phil just tried to kiss her. 

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:21 am

And Tingle knows how to string a sensical, if absurd, narrative together.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:21 am

“Christie recoiled.”

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:21 am

Apparently people = no.

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:21 am

stop trying to make pounce happen Joline

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:21 am

It’s true, Leonard Delaney may have flown too close to the sun with this one.

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:21 am

Phil-anderer.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:22 am

So, in this buried office complex we’ve now come to a computer room that resembles “that hatch in the TV show Lost.”  “That was a good show,” said Christie.

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:22 am

Wow.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:23 am

Hmmmm…. so Phil is so excited by discovering this room he shouts, causing a… server avalanche.  Which, I kid you not, seems to have killed him.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:23 am

Now Christie figures she might need Clippy’s assistance.

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:23 am

I get the impression that someone was trying burn through an arbitrarily decided word count.

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:23 am

The only way this could redeem itself for me is if Phil and Clippy hooked up.

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:23 am

Oh no!

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:23 am

Wait PHIL IS DEAD?!

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:23 am

“It’s probably how he would have wanted to die,” said Clippy.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:24 am

“True that,” said Christie.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:24 am

OH!  Clippy’s “coil was sticking out.  It was red and glowing at the end, as if his rod had been stuck in a fire. Clippy had a boner.”  APPARENTLY FROM KILLING PHIL.

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:24 am

Obviously. Who’s dream isn’t to die in an avalanche while talking to an unempathetic alien and being sexually rejected.

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:24 am

Clearly the wish-fulfillment fantasy here is not getting it on with Clippy but killing Bill Gates. (Sorry. PHIL.)

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:25 am

I’m getting the feels that a computer wrote this. How meta would that be – erotica about Clippy written by a machine

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:25 am

…or, you know, getting it on with a remorseless psychopathic killer who’s turned on by murder! 

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:25 am

Or hey, why not both?

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:25 am

Oh. My. GOD.  Clippy just said, “I’m MicroHARD.”

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:26 am

No. just. I can’t. 

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:26 am

Christie is all about being grateful to the homicidal alien paperclip and is now giving him a blow job.  

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:26 am

BURNING HOT METAL!

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:26 am

This is nightmarish. This is so much worse than Chuck Tingle. OMG.

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:26 am

OMG. I want to trademark “MicroHard” RIGHT NOW. Damn you Leonard Delaney.

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:27 am

MicroHARD. MICROHARD.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:27 am

“Unlike an actual paperclip, the end of his oiled body was round, and felt smooth in her moth.  As she lapped and suck and tongued at it, it became even redder and hotter. Her own human body part (vagina) felt hot too.”

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:27 am

Is Aardvark dead now too from 3rd degree mouth/throat burns?

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:27 am

(vagina)  It was really written this way.  Like, in case we couldn’t get it.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:28 am

She apparently is not dead from the hot, but is taking her pants off.

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:28 am

All my bits are shriveling at this point, fwiw.

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:28 am

I may never have sex again.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:28 am

Thank god for this description: “When she allowed herself to glance up, his bulbous eyes were rolled back, the steel eyebrows arched with pleasure.”

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:28 am

Now I can’t unsee that.

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:29 am

Noooooooooooooo

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:29 am

I’m going to take up hazard pay with our editor on this one. 

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:29 am

I am laughing so hard I can’t type right. BULBOUS EYES ROLLED BACK, STEEL EYEBROWS ARCHED Jesus h. Christ WHAT

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:29 am

And possible PTSD therapy 

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:29 am

Hahahahah, okay, now that she’s decided to get really busy with him and is down to the bra we have on the cover, he says, “Would you like me to assist…” and she says, “SHUT UP, CLIPPY.”

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:30 am

distressed bra

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:30 am

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:30 am

which should have been a tip-off at how distressing this whole endeavour was going to be.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:30 am

Oh, crap, now we get this, “She got the bra off, and her perfectly engineered breasts popped free, with nipples like eager little puppy noses.” PUPPY NOSES. O. M. G.

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:31 am

no – where is the jaunty eyebrowed clippy, Joline?!

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:31 am

“Would you like–”  “Yes, Clippy! Assist me!  Assist me HARD!”

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:31 am

Someone engineered her breasts. Huh.

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:31 am

I feel like I should be making hilarious side comments but there is nothing I can say here that is more hilarious than the ACTUAL TEXT.

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:31 am

engineered? 

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:32 am

yeah Joline, engineered apparently an author who has NEVER ACTUALLY HAD SEX WITH AN ACTUAL FEMALE

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:32 am

Right. Because in this world, computer chips are mined out of the ground. Breasts, however: engineered.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:32 am

I’m really glad the author is keeping to Clippy’s personality.  “He sprung forward, bounced into the hair, and landed inside Christine’s lady-socket.”  

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:32 am

Lady-socket.

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:32 am

yeah Joline, engineered apparently by an author who has NEVER ACTUALLY HAD SEX WITH AN ACTUAL FEMALE

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:32 am

(vagina)

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:32 am

I keep being rendered speechless by this. WHAT DO YOU EVEN SAY.

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:32 am

maybe that’s what Intel actually makes.

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:32 am

LADY 

SOCKET

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:33 am

If she were also a cyborg, that would explain a few things.

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:33 am

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:33 am

Like it would explain why it’s a “lady socket” and not a vagina and why she can give glowing metal a blow job without injury.

Doesn’t explain the bra, though.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:34 am

She’s enjoying him inside her, and he says, “It looks like you are trying to reach orgasm.  Can I assist you using butt stuff?”

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:34 am

Seriously – who hears the term “lady socket” and thinks – hot! My readers will really get into that.

Although….I have a feeling we are not the target market here.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:34 am

And… now he’s unstrung himself and is using both ends of the paper clip to do all the bits.  “He got his ed to vibrate like an Xbox controller…”

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:35 am

Because WE ALL KNOW HOW GREAT THAT FEELS, AM I RIGHT???

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:36 am

Apparently it does the job, because she achieves her orgasm and now “Clippy’s eyes whirred shut with pleasure.”

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:36 am

This is surely intended to be hilarious rather than sexy. Surely. SURELY.

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:36 am

Hey – I will say at least Leonard has made an attempt at using the non-human elements in the sex act. I will not get over the Unicorn horn not being used in that Biker Unicorn erotica.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:36 am

And, Christie is now officially the only monster erotic heroine to have this thought, “She hoped this didn’t make her pregnant AGAIN.”  (Does this mean she had baby Tetris blocks????)

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:37 am

excellent point Joline

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:38 am

I’d say we’ve got more evidence that she’s a cyborg. I mean, if a machine can knock you up…

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:38 am

“Both of them shuddered with pleasure, then Clippy uncurled out of her.  He was so deep that it sounded like shl-shl-shl-schloop! as he came out.  A bit of a silver liquid, like that mercury stuff that used to be in thermometers, dripped from Christie’s love-port.”

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:38 am

love port. (vagina)

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:39 am

“Thank you for your assistance,” she said.

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:39 am

How? How is that a sentence? How did you write that Leonard?

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:39 am

And by “mercury stuff” he means you know, actual mercury

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:39 am

Mercury in contact with your mucous membranes sounds like the worst idea ever.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:40 am

Oh, hey, turns out Phil is alive after all.  He’s the robot, you guys!  

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:40 am

Wait? Phil’s a robot?

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:40 am

going out on a limb here – but I can’t think that even the target market of basement dwellers who have never had sex with a 2nd party before are going to get their rocks off to this. 

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:41 am

Was this some elaborate alien set up specific to blogger Christie?

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:41 am

wait what robot? 

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:41 am

I’m just going to predict again that Christie is also a robot. 

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:41 am

And it turns out this was some kind of set up to get the word out about how awesome Microsoft… er whatever the fake name is.  But Christie is INDEPENDENT.  She has been duped and will tell the world.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:42 am

Oh dear, Clippy has let out an evil laugh and manages to get to the internet to cause more mischief.  “Humanity needed his assistance.”

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:42 am

THE END.  Another horror story! What even!??

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:42 am

You know, if it was a generic paper clip I could almost see it, but that it’s a specific virtual paperclip… that makes it pretty hard to suspend belief.

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:42 am

Wait wait wait. The purpose of this whole interaction was to convince people to like the Microsoft Office Assistant?

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:42 am

wait how was this whole thing supposed to advance MicroHARD’s rep??

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:43 am

Yes, apparently, because Clippy is so HOT in bed (see what I did there), everyone would want him.

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:43 am

So back in the day I remember a lot of discussion of Clippy and how the Microsoft staff (including Bill) were convinced that everyone would love him, and they were shocked at how people hated him.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:43 am

Never fear, true believers, we have been told at the beginning of Christie’s amazing INDEPENDENCE.  She is a truthful blogger.

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:43 am

And after rolling him out they spent a long time trying to get people to like him.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:44 am

Apparently this, then, is the True Story of Clippy.

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:44 am

Apparently they just hadn’t experienced his business end. Ends.

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:44 am

I hated Clippy from the moment his sneering face and obnoxious eyebrows popped up on my screen. Nothing was going to change that. 

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:44 am

Yikes.  And he’s an alien.  So there’s that, too.

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:44 am

Sexytimes Clippy would not have sold me on him.

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:45 am

I feel like I just had a bad acid trip or s/thing with this whole story

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:45 am

Well, “alien” vs. “created by Microsoft” — which is less sexy?

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:45 am

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:45 am

Both is pretty horrifying.  I may have to go bleach my love port.

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:46 am

So, here’s the thing – Clippy has been gone for a long time. So what inspired this story? Or! Was this story sitting in Leonard’s drawer just waiting for the self-publishing revolution?

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:46 am

Or maybe my lady-socket.

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:46 am

Also – I’m going to draw the line at: you can have bad/zero plot if the sexytime bits are good, but you cannot have BOTH terrible nonsense plot AND the sexytime is awful. 

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:46 am

This seems to be an alternate history.  No one has a MICROSOFT Smartphone.  Certainly not version 8.1.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:47 am

Agreed.  Bad world building plus awkward lady bits (vagina) is not my recipe for success.

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:47 am

Windows smartphones are a thing. I may even know someone who has one. Possibly. I’m not 100% sure.

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:48 am

(vagina)

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:48 am

I have a suspicion that the term lady-socket is going to enter my mind at incredibly inopportune moments in the future. Damn you, Leonard.

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:48 am

Just going to throw that in my writing/tweeting at random. (vagina)

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:48 am

Really?  Okay, how about a silicon geyser?  What about that??

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:48 am

hahahahahaha! Yes!

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:48 am

Ladysockets and silicon geysers are allowed in erotica where ALL the parties are robots, I think. 

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:49 am

Especially with mercury… erm, afters.

Lyda Morehouse May 21, 20159:49 am

I sure hope Christie doesn’t get pregnant.

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:50 am

I think we may be out of words for this one. I mean. Wow.

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:50 am

I would make a condom joke here but … you shouldn’t need a condom when having sex with a paperclip, I’m sorry, that’s like needing to worry about contraception when using a sex toy, right? I just.

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:51 am

Dear Christie: if you’re really worried, go and get a morning after pill and then brush up on basic biology.

Naomi Kritzer May 21, 20159:51 am

And then earth science and physics, omfg.

Tara Jenson May 21, 20159:51 am

Yeah – I’m officially out of words. 

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:52 am

This liveblog software needs a like button.

Joline Zepcevski May 21, 20159:53 am

And with that, we end our exploration of the disturbing sex life of Clippy. Join us next time for more unlikely monster erotica liveblogging!

Filed Under: Endings Tagged With: clippy, Conquered by Clippy: An Erotic Short Story, erotica live blog

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