While the media seems to have decided that it is now time to light their collective hair on fire regarding the 2016 election, we’re choosing to go a different route. Denial. Straight up, no-holds-barred denial. Because the alternative is too terrifying to contemplate. So, while all you suckers focus on 2016 Apocalypse Now! We’re moving…
Liveblog: The 2016 Democratic National Convention Roll Call!
It has been brought to our attention here at Bitter Empire that the Roll Call is the greatest pageant and trivia session of our time, so ROLL up your sleeves and join us for some good old-fashion live-blogging of the 2016 DNC Roll Call – gavel-in at 3pm EST! We even have a Roll Call theme song! In…
Bernie Sanders or My Jewish Grandfather: A Quote Quiz
Throughout this entire primary season, one inescapable fact has kept me awake at nights, gnawing at the very fabric of my understanding of politics: Bernie Sanders basically IS my Jewish grandfather. The similarities are more than few. Both were born and raised in Brooklyn (Bernie in Midwood, my grandfather in Bedford-Stuyvesant). Both were/are the children…
You Probably Smell Bad To People That Disagree With You Politically
According to a study in the October 2014 American Journal of Political Science, people are more likely to be attracted to the body odor of individuals who are politically like-minded. (“Assortative Mating on Ideology Could Operate Through Olfactory Cues.”) Determining this involved recruiting 146 people from a “large city in the northeast United States,” sorting…
Florida Man Seeks Pardon Based on Ted Cruz Defense
A Florida man has attracted an empathetic ally in his fight for his freedom. Ted Cruz reportedly asked President Obama to pardon a Florida man, Gary Jones, who was convicted for murder in 2002. Jones has just lost his last appeal this week and Senator Cruz is very eager to “end this flagrant miscarriage of…
Can I Tell My Liberal Colleagues That I'm a Republican?
Question: I’m an Associate General Counsel at a large state university and a Republican. As far as I can discern, all of the other AGCs are Democrats. I don’t think the workplace is the right place to talk politics, but right now the political chatter about the Presidential election is overwhelming and driving me nuts.…
I Work for a Pro-Life Law Firm
I imagine that the money the firm makes from my billed hours ends up supporting pro-life causes. What should I do? Did I make a deal with the devil?
Legal Humor Roundup for September 26, 2011
Mitt Romney’s not inhaling. Plus, an Alabama town gives criminals the choice of Jesus or jail, and six laws you’ve broken without even realizing it.
Republican Candidates and Their Degrees of Law
Bitter Lawyer stacks up the GOP nominees’ academic credentials against those of President Barack Obama.
Top Lawyers of the Obama Administration
During the eight years of the Bush administration, 13 lawyers served in the president’s cabinet. That makes 13 lawyers out of 47 total people who held cabinet-level posts. (The number actually drops to ten, if you subtract the three Attorneys General—John Ashcroft, Alberto Gonzales, and Michael Mukasey.) Of course, Bush wasn’t a lawyer, but that…